Day 117: Work. Something pushes me. Everyday, there is something burning inside to be the best at whatever it is I do. I push to be the best that I can. I can fully commit to whatever it is I am doing, if I choose to. That can be a catch 22 for me, at least in the past it was, for it can drive me to do great things. The other side of the coin is a hellacious mess, that drive to destroy everything around me. I can slip into that mindset, not even noticing what I am doing. I rely on my support group when that happens to point out to me what the hell I am doing wrong. I can get so caught up in my own thought process I can be blind to what I am doing. I know that they truly care about me, to say those hard things, that I truly need to hear. I think that I am not the only one around that can get this way, all self absorbed, blind to actions. There are two simple choices and options. Positive or Negative. There is something that I do on a daily basis, work. I put in the time, the effort, the work into my recovery. I go to group, I do my best to work on the self that I wish to be. I am in need of that daily reminder, which is actually relieving that I can continue to be a better and better man everyday. It takes that work to move forward. That work alongside the rigorous honesty gets me on the right track to be a positive influence on all the aspects of my life, not just the ones that are going to do something for me. Learning these things has not been easy, though it gets simpler everyday. I will not give up on this work, this work will always be a focus of my life. How far it will take me, only time can tell. One Day. Today. Love, Joel
Posted on: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 06:39:40 +0000
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