Day 12 of Thankful Statuses- I was explaining to a friend tonight one of the most difficult aspects of grief is trying to comfort my other kids while Im experiencing such poverty of the heart as well. Grief strips away all pretense and facade of capability. The best description is pretending everyone has been in a horrific accident. I look over and see my kids are hemorrhaging blood everywhere so I crawl over to try to stem the flow of blood only to realize that I am also hemorrhaging blood everywhere. As a mom I want to make everything okay. I want a magic mom wand to wave over their hearts to make the pain less intense, less consuming. As I said this I heard my own words grief strips away all pretense and facade of capability. One of my greatest goals as a parent is to be authentic and transparent with my kids. I want them to understand my relationship with Christ isnt based on my abilities or accomplishments but from my inability to be good,to be righteous. On my need for a Savior. Grief has provided the fast track for that to happen. Any thoughts that I have ever had about what great job I might be doing or how patient, kind, wise and loving I might be have been stripped away by grief. Im pretty much a hot mess from the time I wake until I lay my head down again...and sometimes in between depending on the dreams that I might have had. And thats one of the blessings of grief. It reminds us again and again of our need for a Savior. One to save us from the pettiness, self-pityness and depravity of our hearts. It rips the flesh colored band-aid off the gaping wound and exposes it to the only Light that can save it. And that is what Im thankful for tonight. What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world cant satisfy What if trials of this life The rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are your mercies in disguise Blessings by Laura Story We cry, we laugh, we love. We live lives consecrated to the One who made us. Again, we are so very thankful for the love and prayers of so many!
Posted on: Thu, 20 Nov 2014 04:43:41 +0000
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