Day 16 A requested poem about Christmas, Christmas covers so many things so I decided to narrow it down to Santa. Santa Crisis One Christmas Eve I decided To stay up really late I wanted to see Santa Clause And his Reindeer-all eight My eyelids were feeling heavy But I kept pinching myself awake Until I heard the jingle of bells The excitement making me shake I heard such a loud noise As I crept downstairs I peeked through the door ajar Santas clothes had rips and tears! He struggled to get out From our old fire place And he was walking all funny As if he was in a daze Scrambling through his sack To get our presents out He fell over and hit his head With such a loud clout! Eventually he plonked them Beneath the glittering tree And the to my amazement He stood up to have a pee! He peed all over our tree I couldnt believe my eyes! This couldnt be Santa Clause I thought Watching him in such surprise Just when I thought Things could get no worse He raids my Mothers handbag And goes through her purse! Youll never guess what he does next As hes stumbling around our home He swigs some whisky, gin and rum And then he smokes a cone! Then back up the chimney he struggles And the sound of the bells fade away I was absolutley gobsmacked And this is what I heard the next day Santa Clause found passed out Is what the headlines read They found him slumped on top of the last house They thought that he was dead He was airlifted to hospital And taken to a psychiatric ward Poor Santa will be there a while Ive heard hes getting bored Interviews are running for a new Santa I wonder who will succeed I wonder if he also likes the drink Or if he just prefers the weed Or maybe he is straight and narrow But what fun is that to see Although he mugged us and pissed on our tree It was uncontrollably funny!
Posted on: Sun, 30 Nov 2014 12:59:56 +0000
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