Day 220: Substitution. I pushed my reality down an overly difficult, long road. I took my life in so many odd directions, always searching for something. I never sat down, took a breath, to see what it was the search was for. While stuck in that search, I remained in the same pattern day in and day out. Which is odd, the assumption that we would reach out in a search, seems so right. The unfortunate part of that search, I did not know what I was looking for. I spent a lot of time finding other things to do, in order to distract myself from what I truly needed to find. If I wore blinders over my eyes for years, that blindness would keep me from finding what it was. If I was the one applying that blindfold, I mired myself in a slowly descending spiral to misery. That false sense of control put me right in my place. Going nowhere. I would use all sorts of things to distract myself from all of the pain that was driving my actions. Those actions created more pain. That is the cycle. Now, I substitute old painful actions for something else. That learning of new behavior has changed my life. It took a little at a time, and I am far from getting to the end of my story just yet. There are a few pages left before I am willing to walk away from this incarnation of energy. One Day. Today. Love, Joel
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 07:13:08 +0000
Trending Topics
© 2015