Day 24: The Glorious Mysteries Early this morning, I screamed our Dark Mothers name. My heart is threatening to shatter itself into tiny unrecognizable pieces. I want her to cause destruction! I want her to enter the battle with skulls around her neck, with swords in hands, and a tongue dripping with fresh blood! My heart is threatening to implode and someone must pay. My heart remembers this pain, and it is threatening to break. At first, the anger and hurt hits me in my stomach. It makes my stomach gurgle and churn. The churning turns back into a deep rumbling, and my bowels threaten to erupt! Where is my Mother?! I cant sit in prayer. I pace back and forth. I cross myself silently. The words cant make it out of my mouth fast enough. Hail Mary! Full of Grace.... Something is unhinging. Something is coming undone, and something.... Child, do not make a hypocrite of yourself! Be angry! Be sad! Be vulnerable! Curl yourself into the fetal position! Cry huge round tears that send your chest into an uncontrollable heaving, that makes you gasp in fear, as you try to catch your breath! But, dont you dare ask for the chalice to be taken away! Dont you dare ask me to disguise or dull the flavor of the bitter tasting herb! For this has nothing to do with fate, and it has nothing to do with things happening for a reason. Do not try to explain the hurt away Do not force the pain to retreat! Pick up your chalice and drink! Let the bitterness of it overload your senses! Feel the liquid burning as it rushes down your esophagus! Chew the amethyst, and grind it into dust with your teeth! Ground yourself. Dig your heels into the earth. Open your arms fully, until your chest cracks open. There is work to be done. And, what needs to be healed, cannot be put on the shelf, and cannot be pushed into an already over-cluttered closet. My children Hail me, and I toss them into the fire! My children Hail me, and I cast a net of protection and armor around them! My children Hail me! Do not forget my name! I hear you crying. I see you suffering. Continue to open your hearts to me. Continue to grieve in the silent darkness! Continue to become undone! Something is on the horizon. Something is coming, and I need you to be strong. I need you to stand unwaveringly by my side! So drink! Drink from this chalice in the silent darkness. Throw up, and spit out every toxic fear that has ever held you hostage.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 15:12:13 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015