Day 324. I am witnessing a phenomenon. I was hesitant to share, but I will. There are the normal dailies I can share, the menu, weather, thoughts on the beauty of the outside world, critiques of the pseudo civilization, etc. Once in awhile, I share something on a spiritual level or speak of my faith path, althpugh that is much rarer. This is a little different this time. You all know that since this spring, after an amazing winter start, I have struggled with the mundane rut, getting of course and wavering with aesthetics. Typically, I figure that certsin stimuli pish me back into the habituality of the half-alive life. Occassionally, I have discussed some of the factors of this spring in very abstract and vague terms. There will be no more specificity than in the past, but there is a weird connection... When I am in the mundane rut, I am left alone. Life muddles along, the haters recede, the naysayers get quieter, people stop randomly walking onto my property, and so forth. Now, it may sound paranoid, but I know that and I am still expressing it, food for thought, maybe just to get it in front of me to look at it. But here it is: When I start to make art, when the inspirations start getting loud, when I am climbing out of the rut and the beauty of the world is loud in my senses...when the rhythms return...when I am resurging my practice of my faith... The random unannounced visitors. The weird comments. The strange messages. There are other things in the life crisis department, but lets shy away from that paranoia, lets just stick with the up check in direct and personal interaction. My rhythm gets interrupted. Badly, hourly...until I fall in the rut again. Once I am in the rut...the visits, the messages, the weird comments, etc....stop. and I have to climb backnout of the rut. And yeah, the life crisis crap coincides, too. I am on the cusp of the extraordinary, the huge, the amazing...and guess what? Yup. Energy must be expended to deal with weirdness this morning. And here is the odd part...cherry on top: All of it this time, all of it since getting back in the groove last afternoon after too many crises, to much rut time... Is all connected to the main pain in my ass this Spring on the other project. The main source of all that stress. Weirdly, THAT connection is connected to my first psycho stalker of the year, one who really pushed the idea of restricting what I expressed and how I expressed it. And today? Rythyms interrupted by connections to that connection. A man of magic would insist that there are forces at work here. Because there is a damn ugly pattern.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 17:43:11 +0000
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