Day 48 There are these little moments that I forget. Im not forgetting her. I forget shes not here. I see something I want to buy her or I think about the next family holiday or event and there is this moment, only a split second and then I have to say to myself...oh......yeah.... And then silence. And then heart pain. More silence. And then sadness. And at some point I shake my head ever so slightly as if to clear my thoughts away and start over. You cant tread there too long. The water is deep, and its cold. The pain and loneliness eat away at your heart and soul. So you have to stop and focus on the beauty that we still have and say in a hushed whisper, later little one, we will have forever in a little while. I turn my hands and heart toward task below her and keep one tiny part close to her. She is never far from my thoughts or my heart. Sometimes it makes me smile and other times it breaks my heart. Heaven is sweeter to me now. Im sure she is happy there, waiting for us to finish up here. Lord, show us our purpose and what must be done here, so the time passes quickly. I promise to find joy in the waiting because your timing is perfect. God is good.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 21:32:12 +0000
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