Day 6 of things that make me want to hurt you. One of the burdens of eating at a public restaurant is the lack of personal space at the table. So why is it at the very moment I start buttering my dinner roll that you break the ice by telling me how you and your wife are burning through the Karma Sutra....OH, PLEASE! SHOW ME WITH YOUR HANDS!! Do you really have to share that kind of talk while Im eating? Even worse, you tell it in the context of a joke...laughing at yourself, while staring at the other faces around the table as though they should be rolling. I SHOULD STAB YOU WITH A SPORK! Hey man...before you eat that next bite of blooming onion, it looks just like Nancys a-hole after we tried anal...lol..ha ha. NO! I WILL SAVE MY LAUGHS FOR YOUR OBITUARY!! Next time you spill your filth in my lap while Im enjoying my lunch. Im going repeat the punch line of your story loud enough for everyone to hear, then act concerned...A RIPPED ASSHOLE! OH NOOOOO! IS SHE OK? WILL SHE EVER BE ABLE TO RIDE A HORSE? Then Ill pretend to suddenly get the joke, and slap the oldest woman next to us on the back and whisper, I bet you know what hes talking about...right toots? Hopefully, you will leave the place having learned a lesson about timing and place.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 15:06:42 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015