Dear Anahera (C/- Heaven) It seems like a very long time since I wrote, over two weeks wow! I never stop thinking about you. As you can imagine things are busy with your brother and sometimes the days just get lost. I wanted to share how having baby Uenuku has intensified the pain of losing you. I am suddenly getting flashbacks again. I think it is because of the intensity of love for your brother and the gut wrenching agony I would feel if I lost him, that increases the effect of remembering losing you. I remember having flashbacks before in the early days, I never expected them to be brought on again by having our rainbow, but they have been. I imagined how much harder it must be for parents who lose their babies when they already have earth children, the sense of loss for them I think would be so much more intense (especially when sensitive people say to them at least you have ... ). I also think how much more painful it would have been had you been born alive and we had to wait for you to grow your wings (although I still absolutely would have preferred it to be that way). Here is a picture of your brother at baby sensory class, we had a teddy bears picnic and I took your teddy along too. Wilkinson had lovely snuggles with your teddy later - it was so nice that he could be wrapped up in teddys arms. A picture of Wilkinson and his first bike (complete with his first leather jacket although he has some growing to do for that one yet), and sharing a photo of this lovely blanket for Wilkinson that has a rainbow for Wilkinson and a star each for you and your sister Hope. Love Mummy
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 10:49:29 +0000
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