Dear Anahera (C/- Heaven) Tonight, as I did last night, I hold on tight to your little clothes. The ones I brought you just days before you were born. the onesy is washed now, but you never had a smell to remember, but when Chris washed it, she made it smell so beautiful, just like a new born baby angel. Today I woke up crying. Yesterday had not been a bad day, I cried a bit before bed, but this morning the pain was intense. I had slept on my stomach for the first time in a very long time - I think that reminded me painfully how you are missing. When I cuddle Daddy you used to be right in the middle between us and now you are gone. Not from our hearts of course, but the physical absence of you is more painful that one could ever imagine. I thought I would be more prepared, but we adjusted to the baby we were having when we found out about your condition. We never adjusted to no baby at all. It is three weeks since you gained your wings. How I wish I could go back to four weeks ago when you were safe in my belly. How I wish I could go back to June 3rd the day you were born and hold onto that day. Burn more of the moments into my memory. I think I have told you that before. Mummy got another surprise today - something that she has you to be thankful for. Mummy weighed herself today as she really has been going like a racehorse, can you believe over 12kgs has disappeared. That special spa pool of fluid you were swimming in really did weigh a lot. I would have it all back again, though to have you safe back inside swimming in your private oasis. love Mummy.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Jun 2013 08:13:42 +0000
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