Dear Artists, I dont know why am I writing this letter and how much sense does it make! I have very personal things to share and I feel not everyone can understand it or care about it. Only those would understand, who have lost a lot pursuing their passion, their obstinacy. I have lost a lot, I have once lost the trust of my family. Being an artist; you know that there is no permanent source of income or for that matter sometimes there is no source at all. But what do you do? To your family that looks up to you? You make promises, promises way beyond your capacity. You tell them, I will manage, I will manage for myself and I will manage for you all. When you know that all there is to your struggle is darkness, hope is the rarest seed that grows on the soil of struggle of any artist. And then you fail to fulfil that promise, your family does not tell you anything or may be sometimes they do. Mine kept silent. But in that silence, a trust, a belief was broken. Belief that I will someday take care of them. And now when I feel a little capable of doing that or sometimes even when I do it, I can not regain that trust. I feel an outsider to my own family. They do not tell me everything, they do not trust me with everything, they do not trust that I can now help. If you had pursued a regular career which promises a job after a certain time, they would have believed you. But since, your entire life is in a struggle itself. You never gain that trust. What do you do? You keep trying my buddy! Thats the life every artist, every true artist has to live with. A life that goes in trying. Trying to convince your audience that what you are doing is true, that it has value, it can change perspectives for good that if accepted it can bring beauty in their lives.. that it has soul to it, soul that screams to you and is unheard to everyone else. You keep writing, you keep painting, clicking pictures, creating,and you keep exhibiting it to gain some trust, to ensure your audience, but it takes a lot, it takes a lot of effort, it takes a lot of time. I am young very young but I have seen people for whom it took decades. But they still pursued their madness. If you are not mad, do not even think about pursuing any art. The level of obstinacy that it can take is beyond the capacity of anyone sane. Living in a house, with a family that does not approve you is the saddest thing in life. And being an artist, disapproval is a routine. I have been disapproved a thousand times, I tried, I knocked countless doors, I even begged, in the most beautiful days even, I was only consoled. Consolation is your first prize, buddy! One reader, one viewer comes and tells you, I think this is good, you live months on that consolation.. trying to create similar magic, magic which is magic, just to you. The society, the people, the family would not feel it, this individual magic that we create everyday sometimes takes decades to become explicable to others. But we love magic buddy! We know our art is magic, we keep doing it, keep doing it, a spark, another spark, another spark, a thousand more sparks and suddenly the fire starts burning, but the fire sometimes takes long, so long that you father is dead before seeing you successful or he starts behaving dead to your magic. Society is dead, family is dead, a career whose seed you tried to plant once by pressure is burnt deep inside the ground, there is no going back.. What do you madman? You still do your magic! Because when you look beyond, you realize, people have died pursuing this. And when the fire came alive, aliens witnessed it. Aliens! to those we always remained inexplicable.. And with that fire someday, comes hope in an intolerable weight.. I know that I will someday regain that hope or say gain it for the first time, and the day buddy! when i gain this hope.. along with it, a million hopes would come attached with it to me.. So many hopes that again I will fail to fulfil them.. What will I do then buddy ? I will try.. thats what I have been created to do! To create and to try... We are together in this! You strengthen my belief and I someday will yours! You! My artists! I love you! I love you so much! I love you because you teach me never to stop trying.... With love, Your brother Madman.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 18:04:20 +0000