Dear Asshat sitting next to me on this Southwest flight: Yes, our original plane broke down. Yes, that meant we all needed to deplane, wait 90 minutes for a new aircraft, and that we all missed our connections. We are on a discount airline. There are no assigned seats. That means when we get back on the airplane, you have to find a seat. Just like me, and Im A1, behind preboarders. The airplane is now less than half full. Which means you can take an entire row to yourself. Or two rows. Go nuts. But you squeezed into a middle seat, because thats where you sat before on the different airplane. After the first time you screamed at me, I glanced at your boarding pass. After the second time you reamed another guy out for taking your exact luggage space, I found you on LinkedIn. I know what youve been tweeting. I know you like football. I know which team. You eat at Applebees. A lot. If you continue to sit like youre on a New York subway and huff about how nobody but you knows how to fly, Im going to start having some fun with you, at your expense, all the way until we land.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 17:37:58 +0000
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