Dear Aunty Amara, wel don for ur good job. Pls Ma , I ned ur candid advice. Try 2 have patience n read my lenghty story. Hide my id pls. There is a man I met Nov. 2o13. On d very 1st day of our date, he told me dat he has marid b4. According 2 him, d marriage did not last because of pressure 4rm his ple dat he only known d gal jus barely 4months,dat d gal is not good on bed n d gal is not academically okey. So afta one month of their traditional marriage, he sent d gal back 2 her fathers house. He followed it up with d traditional way of sendin a woman packing. I told him 2 give me somtime dat am currently in a relationship which I wasnt then. Afta a wk, he came 2 our house because am living with my parents 2 identify himself orally dat he wants 2 marry me. He took me 2 his vilage where I met his mother n uncles. I told him that, we do not rush it. That we need 2 take our time 2 be friends, dates n court before dowry. Not 2moro after payin my bride price u com up with excuses. During last yr Dec, he said I wil travel with him . Then I told him 2 come and let my people know which he did but my dad refused bc he has not introduce himself traditionally. On that day, my big blood brother was around. My broda told d guy dat he wil get d feedback 4rm me. My broda told dad dat d guy and I(d writer) jus met barely one month dat he should allow me 2 go with him. I travelled with him for xmas. We jus spent 2days there. 1st week of February my dad invited him 2 com and express himself traditionally. He told my dad that his uncle who trained him is sick(wen we visited him he was healthy but after xmas he started suffering 4rm stroke n we have gone 2 see him) so my dad advice him 2 com with people he knows around here, but he insisted dat his uncle must b involved. My dads sister have met him durin xmas period. She lata called him 2 com n introduce himself traditionally. Which he told her that we(him and I) have agreed 2 kep it til Dec 2o14. On March 5th, I went 2 his house, 4rm there 2 my working place. My mum called me but I wasnt around with my phone as at the time he called me then he cald d guy. The guy told him that he left very early. That he is sure I have gone 2 work. So with this opportunity, mum jokely told him 2 com and do the right thing and have me whole. So this annoyed him. On 7th of March, he sent me text message that I should let him know anytime am comin 2 his house. When I asked y , he said is bc of my people, dat they are pressurizin him. His attitude change drastically. Then I started callin, textin, apologizin bt no way. 2wads easther, he called and apologized. Easther Sunday , I went 2 his house. On easther Monday he said I should b goin I told him no problem. He went out in d evin with hope that b4 he is back am gone. But he came back and met me. He was so upset. D next day he left 4 work so early. I swept, mobbed, washed, dusted , cooked and ironed some of his clothes dat have dried. He cald 4rm his wok 2 know if am stil around and I told him yes but wil soon leave. Wen he cam bak , he met me and he started sayin small time my ple wil b disturbing him 2 com and do this or that. He saw me off that evin n cald 2 know if I arrived safely. We did nt comunicate for two days, I cald, he said he is busy. Somtyms, he wil ignore my call n msg and wont cal at al. I text him 2 , create chance 4 us 2 dialogue. That this rshp is shaken and he have not say or do anythin about it. Den he told me that if we marry dat my parents wil interfer in our marriage,dat I do take my parents advice and may b , I have a hidden character that is why my parents are pushing me. Since then if he call I dont pick his call. Within myself, I have quit d rship. On 12th of May around 6a.m, he cald and I picked his cal he asked y havent I been picking his calls. I told him dat, this is early morning he then off d phone on me. He did nt cal again til saturday 17th in which I picked not. Then Sunday evin he cald again and I told him dat, my talk with him wil b face 2 face and not phone talk . He then said byebye n off d phone. Pls advice me. I dot want 2 look cheap or desperate b4 this guy. B4 now, my parents developed hatred 2 me all bc am not yet marid. Even 2 d extent of my dad reportin me 2 my pastor and he said he is goin 2 meet my boss. Y is bc am single 4 now. Mum always soloquisin dat al my mates are marid, wt kids n am stil single. U wont bliv dat my parents want me out 4rm d house by fire by force. Am really writing this with tears. But I know with God all things are possible. Pls advice me. Tnks . I am 30 while the guy is 37.
Posted on: Mon, 19 May 2014 12:15:31 +0000
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