Dear Dad, Funny - the first time I typed dear, it came up dead. Well shit, I guess thats true - and something you might have found funny, in a twisted way. Thats one thing I miss - not having to explain, at least with you, where I got such a twisted sense of humor. Today, Im missing a lot of things. On the way to work this morning, I wanted to call you to tell you how much Folgers coffee sucks, and listen to you argue that my fancy coffee is a waste of money, and then talk to me about how aggressively Im investing in my retirement. I need to know when Im doing the right thing. You know, the weekly phone call of validation thing? Im winging it here, and its harder than I thought. No one understands me like you, and sometimes - well, sometimes I just need someone to tell me what I should do. The fact is, Im sad or Im scared most of the time. But I learned from you that you cant look like youre either of those things, so Im doing what you said. Im keeping it together, because theres no time to make a fool of myself. But really, dad - Im feeling like you left me alone, here. And Im thinking, as Im turning 37 in a few weeks - Im thinking about how this is my first birthday on this planet where you wont be here to pretend that you forgot its my birthday. All these firsts - like every day I wake up, and think - this is the first time Ive experienced July 7th without my dad. I wish I would have known, when I was younger - or when we were fighting about stupid, pointless shit and didnt talk for weeks, and even months a couple of times - how much I would miss you know. I wish I could add those days. I wish Id had more time. I sure wish YOU had more time. Anyway. I have to go to work tomorrow, you know - have to earn a dollar to feed my little babies - thats what you used to say. I know Im not the only one who feels this way about someone theyre missing. But right now? It kinda feels that way. I love you, daddy. I hope wherever you are - you know that.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 06:45:53 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015