*!Dear Diary-12!* My life felt so empty, I never knew someone would have so much effect on me, I sat there looking at all the pictures we took on saturday, everything was so senseless,we were happy just a day away, she came to my party,she got angry because she found me with Xoli and now all she can say to me is that she has another boyfriend,when did they start dating why did she tell me she loves me if she knew she has a boyfriend she loves,my mind was full of questions that will forever remain unanswered,the only feeling I had was the pain she has caused me,I was fading bit by bit,current situation was to stop thinking about her,after some thoughts I started recalling some movies,everyone who is stressed gets a bottle of vodka and they become all fine,I got out my covers and out the room,went to Sams wine room,searched for a bottle that contains a lot of toxic in,but I couldnt find anything that was strong as my pain so the only thing I had was go back to my room and cause even more pain to myself,getting up the stairs was really difficult, I could feel my body get numb, I knew I wont make it to the last step, as I was still thinking of it,I just rolled down and fell,everything went blank,I woke up after some hours and I was in my room with my parents next to me,I opened my eyes then closed them again,I did that again but for the third time I opened them up Sam :how you feeling ~how does one answer such a question when theres no feelings anymore, I knew that what Im doing to myself is stupid, but in just that 7 days I was all committed to her, I didnt think shell ever leave and seeing her come to my party made me even more committed,maybe Im really some idio-~ Sam :Tyson Me :uh? Yes Sam :yes what? Me :pardon Sam :you fell last night remember I got lost in my thoughts once again,yes I fell,I fell because of the girl I love,I fell because I wanted to hurt myself more than what I was hurt Sam :Tyson! Me :dad Lisa *[cryin]* Sam :you cant be still crying over her Me :I love her pa Sam :she doesnt, and she lost the most priceless thing ever Those words were suppose to heal but all they did was to make my wound even worse, it felt like he just rubbed salt in an opened wound Me :Im not going to school Sam :you have to go,you writing a test remember I didnt study! Me :let me go bath Sam :please make it snappy,you 5minutes late Me :okay I slowly got out the covers and went to the bathroom,I couldnt think straight all I did there was make a mess, sis Betty will have to forgive me, I left everything on the floor and some spills of water, I didnt drain my water from the bathroom, my clothes all over, as I was getting dressed I couldnt find my school socks so all I did was scramble up the drawers,pulled things out and left them just there,I didnt even care how I look like,I just put my tie on and I was just messy I didnt see why Im living,I went downstairs Mom :made your favourite,pancake and ice-cream Me :Im not hungry Mom :you have to eat..theres a great test ahead Me :I said Im not hungry mom She was so disappointed,but I couldnt care less Me :lets go Sam Sam :bye sthandwa Me :sis Betty please go clean my room Mom :Tyson? Me :isnt it her work? ..actually forget about it Betty ..asambe ke Sam Mom :whats wrong with you Tyson Me :Sam are you taking me to school or not? Sam :lets go He stood up as he lifted his shoulders up and we left Me :dont ask about it Sam :okay,Ribs maybe Me :aint I late Sam Sam :sorry Me :mxm !selfish people Sam :theres no need to be angry for the world because of Lisa Me :do you understand how I feel? Sam :ofcos I do Me :I doubt so! We were already at school,I stormed out the car and furiously went to the first class,the teacher was absent which means we have a free period,we were sent to the play ground and somehow Sabelos class was there-mxm what a coincidence..stupid teachers,I went to sit under a slide and read for the english test we writing second last period “Hey bra” I lifted my head up, it was Nick Me :hey Nick :whats wrong Me :with He looked to the side,I did that too,and Lisa was with her Sabelo Me :arg nothing Nick :I can hook you up with someone Me :no thanks Wilson Nick :just to make her jealous Tyson Me :maybe not Nick :come on, think about it Me :*[sigh]* okay Wilson Ill think about it..happy? Nick :not if you not I let out a chuckle, and continued with english,Wilson left and I told myself Im not going to cry over a girl,but Sabelo and Lisa had to make that difficult for me,they came and stood next to the slide Lisa :aww Sabii Sabelo :you know how much I love you right,and I wont choose vid.games over you babe Lisa :you the best boyfriend alive,unlike some other people Them :(laughing) I knew all they doing is spite me but o I couldnt just sit there and let them talk dirt about me,I stood up really angry and pushed Lisa away from Sabelo,gave him a punch and crashed his head against the slide,his noise was bleeding,he wiped it off Sabelo :wenzan san Me :got a problem with what I just did? Sabelo :ngizokshaya mina Me :huh? Uthin? Ngazonhlanyela san *[beating him up]* People started pulling me off him,`what have I done,why didnt I let my mind do this to me`,Sabelo was on the ground bleeding,conscious,my jaws dropped as I looked at my red hands I couldnt believe that was me,`when did I turn to be such a monster`,I looked at everyone and they were praising me but they went quiet as two teachers came along Sir :whats happening here Madam :whos been fighting Nick :Sabelo needs the nurse now Madam :Pringle to the Principals office now Nick :Sabelo started Sir :I dont care!do what they telling you Nick :Ill take him I walked to the office I dont even know how I got there, the whole way all I thought about was what if I killed him,what happened to my hands,how did they cut loose Principal :go get your hands cleaned Mr Tyson I stood up from the chair and I went to the bathroom,all dizzy and stuff,I washed my hands for about 15 minutes,crying,Ive never beaten someone like that-nor beat someone ever in my life,I looked at my hands and I thought why!,I went back to the office Principal :took you long I just looked at him Principal :we called your parents Me :Im sorry sir,I got carried away Principal: from your previous school I was told you never fought,instead you were- Me :yes I was Principal :so Ill just let you go home today,you not suspended,I know where you coming from,it must be you lost your temper Me :Thank You sir Sam came in,he was all worried,I could see it in his eyes Sam :whats wrong? Principal :your boy just had a fight,but hes not suspended,hes a good smart boy Sam :thanks,thank you very much Sir We left,I didnt want to talk about it,I couldnt believe that Lisa made me do that,I was angry with myself now Sam :wanna talk about Me :not now Sam :okay its fine ..will you be okay here alone Me :ofcos Sam,Aunt Betty ukhona either way Sam :pa is lief vir jou Me :eks lief vir pa ook He laughed and I got off the car,I walked slowly in the yard,then I heard a voice ”Why so early” I looked around and I noticed its Linda Me :when is the wife coming back Linda :shes back I was shocked Me :so she knows Linda :no,I work here Me :you something else you know I giggled as I walked in the house,thinking that Linda lady is such a crook,I found Betty busy knitting on the couch Me :good day Aunt B :you bunked Me :you should never think the worst of me Aunt Beyy Aunt B :manje wenza nton apha ngalexecha Me :Im sick Sis Betty Aunt B :ayi ke,iroom lakho beldodi tog Me :sorry Bey,my mind was occupied with bull, excuse me I went upstairs,and I told myself Im not going to kill myself with the thoughts that I beaten someone, I was hungry and bored so I decided to take some cash and take a walk to the nearest supermarket and buy myself something to eat,I went downstairs Me :Im going to the shop,want something Aunt B :no thanks Me :are you sure? Aunt B :ewe Tyson Me :you should teach me that language She smiled and I went out..I passed the Mahlangus gate and Linda was just sitting there Me :bored? Linda :annoyed Me :lets take a walk Linda :are you sure Me :come before I change my mind She went in the house then came back and we started walking,we had fun random chats and I noticed that Ive left my phone at home.. Linda :I never knew you so friendly Me :*[giggling]* never judg- Linda :yeah!yeah! Me :what do you want? Linda :nothing thanks Me :pie maybe?.. The lady working there came forth to us Her :can I help Me :two mushroom and cheese pies She gave it to me,and I went to the fizzy drink side Me :whats your favourite Linda :uh- I just grabbed two fanta pineapples,and I went to take some wool for Aunt B then went to the counter,bought Linda the big bubblegums there and we went out,gave her,her food and we walked busy laughing and talking and bonding nje,after a fun long walk we were at her gate again Linda :thanks Me :no thank you Linda :*[laughing]* ..bye Me :byee She got in and I went in the house too Me :I bought you wool *[smiling]* Aunt B :oh ndiyabulela Me :its a pleasure I walked up to my room,ate then checked my phone,I had 15 missed calls from a number that I didnt recognise and a voice note from it,I wonder who is it, and somehow I felt bad about not taking my phone with,as I listened to the message it was Princess and she was crying and I couldnt hear well what she was saying,all I heard was the words ...kick me out,my jaws dropped,and confusion knocked in To be continued *early breakfast~see you again at night
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 04:45:38 +0000
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