Dear Dr ranx da love dokta! I’m 21. A year ago I started to date an older guy that also went to my school. We were reading for the same degree and both wanted similar professional paths. Two years ago before he finished at the university, he even started a business venture that is now wildly popular and has a moderate following. Right now I’m a major partner at his business….just not officially on paper. Inventory management, accounting, customer service rep – that’s our shared responsibility. Since our initial meeting, I thought he was intelligent, charismatic, funny, and definitely handsome………and so does the majority of the female customers that he has. Before we were official, women would eyeball him like crazy while I was standing there working with him. It was definitely annoying, but he maintained that he was only interested in me and made a point to tell/show his admirers that we were together. Besides that, I truly love this man and I want him to succeed not just for the money but because he’s worked and sacrificed so much. I deeply respect this guy. He’s on par with my own dad. Here’s problem number one. At first he was very welcoming to my ideas and constructive criticisms concerning the business, but not anymore. He says that I am bossing him around and since it’s his business he will always have the last word (honestly I’m not trying to rule him. I’m just referring to potential issues he is not responding to). Also, external forces are threatening his hard work and he’s been stressed, sometimes taking it out on me by arguing a lot over little things or being dismissive to me in front of customers. Of course I argue back, but he always seems to spin it like he was in the right. It’s vexing! Problem number two. Recently, I’ve found that he is being flirty with other customers. The business actually encourages friendly conversations between customers to have repeat business, but he is overdoing it. Not blatant flirtations, but not so hidden either. When I argue with him over it, he says that he is just being friendly and it’s just my insecurities. Bulls***. My questions are — Even though I’m a partner in the business, should I just keep quiet about certain issues to not get him annoyed? Even with the limited info, does he sound like he’s playing me for a fool, flirting with other girls and expecting me to believe it’s just business? I don’t want to lose him but I feel like he’s slipping away as every new workday passes. Thanks Dr ranx da love dokta RESPONSE! Leave the company and work someplace else! To keep your relationship with him, I strongly urge you to go work someplace else, or start your own company. In order to have a healthy and loving relationship with him, you will need to stop working with him or else you will continue to bring your personal relationships into the workplace. The two will not, cannot, and do not gel together and you will consistently have problems so long as you continue to work there. You even stated at the beginning of your letter that though you are a major partner in the business, however, you’re not a major partner on paper. He was smart enough not to put it on paper because I’m certain he knew the relationship would cause problems. And, you weren’t, or aren’t smart enough to have yourself on paper in the business. So, to make this an easy transition, and to keep your relationship, then start looking for other employment opportunities, and become a major partner at another company with your name on paper!
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 16:30:54 +0000
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