Dear Facebook, Months ago, Mercy had a febrile seizure. I had never heard of it and in the moment I thought she died. In 3-4 minutes it was over and the ambulance could be heard coming up the road. More happened in my mind in those few minutes then probably my whole life and I learned something only death can teach you. I wasnt made for Death. I wasnt even made for Life. I was made for Eternity. My heart shifted in the space of a few moments, while looking at my daughters blue lips I saw myself at her funeral and I knew that it would be the last mile marker in my life. Life wouldnt be measured in feelings and celebrations, it would be measured in Before Her Life and After Her Death. I instantly knew what another young mother expressed when her 8 month old actually did die suddenly. She is now living for Eternity, it is the only reality that keeps her going. I have never lost someone to death, I am clueless to write on such a topic. I could easier write on what its like to live on Saturns 7th moon then to write on death. But I do know what it is to think you have lost someone and to have them returned to you. I cancelled everything for the rest of the week including my emotions. I stayed home with my kids and tried to let my hands and fingers unfurl. I couldnt imagine living through the death of a child. Parents live by a whole other set of laws then anyone else and they cant be reasoned with. They wont be compromised, they only get stronger, and they fly in the face of sound reasoning and judgement. And to a parent, they make perfect sense. Last night I made the mistake of looking at footage of the massacre going on in Irag right now by ISIS on the Yusidisis and Christians. For over a week now I have been hearing about it on the news and in the back of my mind thought, hey, maybe its not really that bad. The pictures made it real, although I dont recommend looking at them right before going to bed. You wont sleep. When and if you do, it wont be pleasant. I think every American should look at these pictures. My little scare with Mercy gave me a moment of terror, I cant imagine living in that moment combined with atrocities words and pictures cant even capture. Mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep. Your tears and theirs are kept in a bottle and there is one who knows the reason for each. I fear we are the generation Jesus spoke of when He said, We played a dirge for you and you didnt dance, we sang a song and you didnt lament. I dont want to be a generation thats goal is to try and manipulate the masses emotions so they will be inthralled with me and I will gain their attention. I want to see reality and bring it before a God that sees, hears, and knows. I want to bring it before a God that will act. He is a Father to the Fatherless and a defender of the orphan and widows and if we are not for Him, we are against Him. Our apathy will not excuse us from His judgment, our disbelief will not shelter us from the Truth. I believe God can still speak from the mouth of donkeys and He still works though imperfect Government and people. I believe prayer and fasting still moves His hand and changes poisoned hearts. Lets rend our hearts for the next few days for the people in Irag, lets join in their suffering by fasting. Im going to and I hope in some way you will to. A fellow Christian and Parent, Jenny
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 01:35:50 +0000
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