Dear Friends, It is time for an update on Graeme. I apologise for the silence about this campaign. Between travelling and getting to the bottom of things, it has taken time to write to you all from a place of clarity. I have discovered that Graeme scammed me. It was an oscar winning performance of epic proportions. The reality is that Graeme has been homeless, he did grow up in an orphanage and he definitely has had a rough life. But what I found out is he has had accommodation for over 8 months, he has been faking his disability and there is suspicion that he may be using, though I’ve not been able to get full confirmation on this last point. Myself and an incredible man called Patrick unravelled a very tangled web together to get to the truth. We met 2 days before I was leaving because I found his number on the back of one of Graeme’s sketchbooks. I called him as I thought that he was part of social services and would help me get to the bottom of how to effectively help. It turned out that Patrick was another me. He had created an Indie Go-Go campaign literally weeks before I put my message out and had raised an identical amount of money for Graeme. Only difference was that he had given Graeme all the money. He had no reason to doubt Graeme’s story as he had known him for over a year and had a long friendship with him, giving help in the past. In the last 2 days before I left, Patrick and I shared our stories, we confronted Graeme and we also reached out to a number of other services. The day that I was leaving, there was still a possibility that the story stacked up, so I left the investigation with Patrick, who has been sending me weekly updates. After a few weeks now, it’s more than clear that Graeme was lying about his situation. I sincerely apologise to you all for not being able to follow through on what I promised. I also implore everyone to think deeply about how you want to feel about this situation. It’s very easy for us to get angry and to judge Graeme for lying. For me, the way this situation has transpired means that Graeme cannot receive the funds and help at this time. I also realise that I am not here to judge. Whether it is scamming, drug abuse, or anything else that people can be driven to do in desperate times, these things all derive from the illness of society and my conclusion is that they have to be treated with the same amount of compassion and understanding as someone with the disability that we all thought Graeme had. Otherwise how else do we collectively heal without trying to put ourselves in his shoes? All I know is that Graeme is not separate from the pain of our collective actions as humanity; in fact he is a direct result. I am in the process of writing out the full story, as I want to share this experience in full with you all. I will post it as soon as it is finished and it will hopefully answer majority of the questions that you all must have. I have personally gone through a process of shock, humility, grievance and eventually made peace with this. Thank you so much to Cathy Pearson and Fluff Thorne for helping me. I don’t feel any negativity towards Graeme whatsoever. Actually I feel more love and gratitude for him, as this has been one of the most challenging and heart opening experiences of my life. I created an unbelievable situation for myself to learn, with all the potential of public humiliation mixed in with time wasting and hard, morally complex lessons on accepting the world as it is. I involved a “helpless” man on the other side of the world plus all my friends and their extended networks. I take full responsibility for the way this has all turned out. In hindsight there is a lot I could have done differently. I pray that you all know that this all came from a genuine place in me. I really wanted to change his life. But clearly it wasn’t my place to do so. On the flip side, what I have witnessed is the most incredible compassion rise out of myself and others. Watching the power of asking come alive and how we all created a means to actually change someone’s life… I was and am still overwhelmed by our capacity to love, to care for a stranger as we would our own family. With the money - We raised approx. $2000. I gave him $600. I have the other $1400 in my paypal. I have given this a lot of thought and I want to present a couple options to you all. In my next post I will make the suggestions. If you would like to ask me any questions about the Graeme story I am more than happy to answer them. A lot will become clear once I post the full story. It’s wild. This has been a lesson and adventure of epic proportions. There are so much important and contradictory issues that are raised. I feel like the story needs to be shared in order to get people thinking about key questions - how can we really be helpful in this world? Can we really truly help another person? What is our role in others lives? I humbly thank you all for going on this journey with me. I have learnt one of the greatest lessons of my life with you all at my side. Fund options coming in a minute. Dannii x
Posted on: Tue, 20 May 2014 10:32:45 +0000