Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog. 1. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell. 3. The litter box is not a cookie jar. 4. The sofa is not a ”face towel.” 5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dads underwear when hes on the toilet. 7. Sticking my nose into someones crotch is an unacceptable way of saying hello. 8. I dont need to suddenly stand straight up when Im under the coffee table. 9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house—not after. 10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 12. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, its usually not a good thing. P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Posted on: Fri, 31 Jan 2014 10:02:43 +0000
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