Dear Paul.. Your birthday is approaching fast. This week I think I will do something special. I think I will get a cake and bring it to work for the inmates, somehow I think you would like that. It would be the opposite of what everyone else would expect me to do. I never wanted to be like the rest anyway bro. I guess that,s a Kissick trait?. I got a PM from Donna, she brought you up- your pics and how cool they were to see. Life is funny, I am finding I already out lived you by 10 yrs,,and yet I still carry you with me everyday. I am reminded by people every other day what a good person you were, I want you to know I hear that all the time. Your body is gone, but not your soul. Its funny as I write this Hello its me came on my playlist,,and I remember your funeral. I remember being fine until this song came on in the parlor..and just losing it. Totally . I remember that day well. I guess on that day regret hit me like a hurricane, and I guess on that day, after being asked if there was anyone who wanted to say anything else by the pastor I made a vow when I stood up and said yea,,I got something to say. That was the day I learned about compassion and what it means to care about people. Now that was a hell of a speech,,because it came from the heart. It came from my soul. It was all of me, bared and shown and people were not used to that with me, I was always happy to be in the background, but not there not on that day. I would not allow it. There were things that needed to be said about you,,who you were , what you stood for, where your heart laid. Back then,,I wont lie, there was a lot of pain and stress and turmoil. Life was not good, in fact it was hell. 2 yrs of a murder trial..pics, memories, slander by defense teams and pure bullshit, ( proven bullshit) . We all went thru hell. but none more than you. But all the bad stuff aside, the most important thing I ever learned about from all this stuff. all this BS,,was how to change. That as a person you can change. I still have my bad sides,,my pissy moods and shut down modes, bad days if you will. But,,,I do not mind if people see my heart now days, I am not ashamed of or scared of that, not one bit. Something you knew long before us was not to just walk by others, you listened to your heart always. Your passing taught me never to walk by again,,,love with all your heart,,go for the underdog and defend those who cant defend themselves,...the smart ass attitude and shit eating grin?? I got that down bro,,Now whenyou look down watch me keep that promise,,,,,,,
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 08:36:31 +0000
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