Dear President Obama:Im planning to move my family and myself into Mexico for my health and I need your assistance.Were planning to simply walk across the border from the US to Mexico and we would appreciate your kindly help.We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas, and laws.Im sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Pena Nieto, that Im on my way over. Please let him know that I will be expecting the following,Free medical care for my family and English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.Please print all Mexican government forms in EnglishI want my grand kids to be taught Spanish by English(bi-lingual) teachers.Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.I want my grand kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.Please feed my grand kids breakfast and lunch at school, free of charge.I will need a local Mexican drivers license so I can get easy access to government services.I do plan on getting a car in Mexico, but I dont plan on getting car insurance and I probably shouldnt make any effort to learn the traffic laws.Please make sure every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.I plan to fly the US flag from my rooftop, put US decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th.I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals. I would also like to have a nice job without paying taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.Please have the Mexican President tell the Mexican people to be extremely nice to me and my family. Also tell them to never say critical things about me and my family or the strain we might place on their economy.I want to receive free food stamps.Naturally, Ill expect free rent subsidies.Ill need income tax credits, so although I dont pay Mexican taxes, Ill receive money from the government.Please arrange it so the Mexican government pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.Oh yes, I almost forgot. Please enroll me,free, into the Mexican Social Security program, so I get a monthly income at retirement time.I expect to vote in the next election without showing any ID.With my fellow immigrants, we will be organizing your countrys money.We will also be making a change in your government so things will be done our way from now on.I know this is an easy request because you already do these things for all his people who walk from Mexico to the US. Im sure President Nieto wont mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.Thank you for all your help. Youre the man.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Aug 2013 16:57:48 +0000
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