Dear You Know Who You Are..... I am not sure why I felt inclined to write you this note as I know you hate me and could really care less about what I have to say to you. However, I find myself sitting back lately and questioning why you hate me so much. I dont know what I ever did to you, but I would definitely love to. I understand you are going through a tough time with the man you married. I am sure only being married less than 2 years and finding out your husband is spending the next year in prison is hard on you. I feel for you. I honestly think, deep down inside you are a sweet person. I mean, you have to be for my son to love you as much as he does. I want you to know, I dont hate you. No matter how much you bad mouth me in front of him, call me names, defame my character... I will never hate you. I wont hate you because my son loves you and because you treat my son good while he is in your care. I want to you know, that I do recognize that. I appreciate all of the good you do for him. Have you made some questionable choices, HELL YEA, I mean really, havent we all? No one is perfect! Do I hate you for it? Nope....I might make some off the wall remarks to question your decision making process, but I would never call you names, personally attack you or hate you. I especially would never say things about you in front of my son. I wouldnt hurt him like that....but you see, every time you tell my son I am selfish, that I am mean, have anger problems or that I am bipolar you are hurting him. You may ask yourself how....its this simple.....because he is a part of me. He always will be. When you put me down in front of him, you are putting part of him down, so I am asking you nicely, to please stop. So you know, when I bring things to your attention that I think arent in my sons best interest...its not because I am trying to belittle you, criticize you or hurt you. I am trying to communicate with you on what I feel is best for my child. I think your circumstances have just turned you into a bitter, insecure & sad person. I truly am sorry for what you are going through. I am sorry you hate me as much as you do. I wish I could take your pain away because no one deserves that kind of pain. No matter how strong we are, sometimes we just arent strong enough to do it all on our own. I am not perfect, I never have claimed to be. Just remember, I am not here to hurt you. I am not here to cause you pain. Your husband has done that to you enough. Trust me, I have been in your shoes. Bouncing around from place to place, constantly having to put on a fake smile, so everyone can think I am happy. Never knowing which company my husband will be working for next (Oh we get to do something new and adventurous...yea, ok whatever, I am sure you are tired of hearing that too) I remember wondering if we will have money to pay child support to his ex wife, get groceries, keep our health insurance in case someone gets sick or where to hide the car we havent paid on, so they cant reprocess it. I could go on and on.....I just want you to know, you arent the only one thats been there. I was once in your shoes and for ALOT longer than you my dear. I dont think its fair for you hate me though.....I mean really come on, do you really think that I am that bad of a person? Do I have my moments? Hell yea....dont we all? Do you think I planned for my kids and my life to be this way? No, I didnt. I can assure you of that one. Whatever this grudge is that you have against me though, I sure hope and pray that you can find it in your heart to let it go one day and be truly happy in your life. You deserve it. We all do. Just know, I am not the person you should be angry with. You are sleeping with him tonight........
Posted on: Mon, 30 Jun 2014 02:03:51 +0000
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