Dear Zane, please keep me anonymous. Thanks for your page,and thanks for listening and giving great advice. First of all I have a situation. Ive been dating a man much older than myself or 4 years. Well , I moved in with him because of financial issues. Long story short. He is one of the best men Ive ever met. He gives me anything I want. Whenever I want. I cook,clean,wash,take him to his doctors appointment. Pay his bills for him. Whatever he needs I do. Problem is he has kids(all grown). Two of them live with him. Two of them dont. The two who live with him work out of town. So theyre barely home. Recently he got sick. I had to take him to ER. At this time I felt the need to ask him if he was in any life insurance. He said no. Sad on the childrens part. Well he went to the bank and got me a loan several months ago. They sent a certificate showing his financial institute had him covered for a small amount. Also offering him the chance to increase his coverage. We didnt act in it then. So recently I decided to sit down and talk to his children about the issue. The two that live with him. I asked them if either one had him covered. Both said no. Sad sad sad. So I presented to his son the certificate that had been sent. So called and the company told him to send it on in. Son asked father who do u want to put down as beneficiary daughter?father asked me do u want to be put down. Son replies quickly no Im gonna wait on daughter to get back and let her fill it out. I told him it doesnt matter who goes down as long as your covered. Well I go on to work. Son is preparing to leave back for work and so is daughter. When I get back from work he gives me story. He tells daughter not to bother paper leave on table. Hes gonna wait for me to get back. Well I get home papers gone along with return envelope. So they decide to go against his wishes. Money will debited from his account. They forged his signature. Point is this. He aint never promised me nothing. I present this to them and they decide to leave me out. Which seemed to not be on theyre minds anyway. Hes pissed because they didnt take into consideration that Im the one who takes care of him every single day. I do everything for him. They didnt even take time to think. Ive had this for 6 months. I couldve done it without them without them ever knowing anything. I handle all his business read all his mail. Everything. By myself. Take care of my children and work. I would have never left them out. I try and include them in on everything. He says I should have never showed them the paper. But I was trying to do the right thing. And when they are home it still do everything. They want even give him his meds when Im gone. Theyve really put a bad taste in my mouth. I cant even look at them the same. I left some things out to make my story shorter. But from what Ive given you. You can figure the rest out. What do you think about this? Should I be pissed or not? And it isnt about money with me. Seems to be with them. All I was concerned with was him being covered. He may outlive us all. MY RESPONSE: I would not be pissed because what exactly is being pissed going to accomplish? Since the main purpose is to make sure he is covered, and he now is, I would leave it at that and concentrate on his health. If you start some drama with his grown children, the stress of it all might kill him before anything else. You can have a bad taste. You can simply tolerate them instead of developing a closeness to them. But the bottom line is that they are grown and they own you nothing. Regardless of you showing them the paper, from what I gather he told them to do whatever to make it happen. It is messed up that they are not doing more for him but I am sure that his love for his children is unconditional, as it should be. Good luck but it sounds like you are concentrating on not only the wrong things, but something that cannot be done over anyway. The papers have been filled out and sent so that is the end of it. The bigger concern is that since you did move in with him because of financial issues, what are you and your children going to do if he does take a turn for the worst? Since you work, I hope you are saving up for a rainy day since he is basically supporting you at the moment. You are not his wife so there will be no survivor benefits but like you said, he may outlive you all. With that being said, do you have coverage yourself?
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 00:00:00 +0000
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