Dear diary.... Here m i again writting on ur pages diary... - TopicsExpress



          

Dear diary.... Here m i again writting on ur pages diary... Hoping 2 gt off wats on my mnd... My hollow heart... My deeply scared soul... Myb js myb aftr writting 2 u diary i wl fnd peace... It all happened fast.. I js had an arguement wit my gf.. It wsnt js an arguement i js found out she was cheating on me.. Wats worse she tld me if she has 2 choose she chooses the ada dude.. Ok i pretended 2 b ok wit it bt ths thng was js eating me up... I ddnt knw wat 2 do so dat weekend i spent my tym indoors smkng coz i js felt hopeless the feeling of unworthyness the feeling dat no1 cn tke away bsd the one hu pushed u 2 feeling dat way... She nvr spoke to me dat day, nvr said a word 2 me, weneva i said sumthng 2 her she wld tlm nah m nt in tha mood 4 speaking... woman u r torturing me cnt u c? U nt considering any of my feelings its all abt u nd u nd u.. No one else stop being selfish nd js 4 once in ur lyf tym thnk abt how adas f3l...i said 2 myslf nd then i js tld myslf evrythng wil b fyn no need 2 cry nd sulk i wl js hv 2 live without her.... Aftr i tld myslf dat.. I strtd conversating wit sum1, she ws kwl... Ok.... She wsnt js kwl she ws hot.. We tlkd, i knew she had a gf.. Bt hey the plan was 2 nt fall 4 her at all.. We tlkd abt the weathr, lyf nd rshps b4 i knw it she ws my gf... M nt surprised ayt many grls fall 4 me... Bt nt ths one.. We dated... I saw her aftr f3w days, she ws stl lookng fyn...Ths ws nt so common, our rshp had no title.. Bt i ws kwl wit it, at least shes tkng my mnd off thngs gape my gf ws no longr actng lyk my gf u knw dat rough path we all wlk in relationships... The one whr u js dnt knw how to solve the issues without hurting sum1 or gttng hurt... It ws tht typa rshp... Sum1 had 2 solve it.. I dnt agree wit any1 saying it had 2 b me fixing the rshp.. I dnt fix wat i ddnt break... The grl i met... Idk wat 2 call her... My gf, my frnd, a stranger... I dnt knw js wat 2 call her since our relation has no title... We spnt tym 2gthr, i strtd developing sum f3lngs 4 her.. Ths f3lngs wer nt meant 2 b involved.. I tried lying 2 her, i tried hidding the truth 4rm her.. It ws impossible 2 do so... So i js tld her how i flt... She nvr took it crzly i guess... All she evr said was dnt gt attached... How is dat possible? I ask myslf... Spndng tym wit sum1 u knw u love nd u r askd nt 2 gt attached..? As i continue... Does ths woman knw dat u dnt js bang wit sum1 nd expect 2 f3l nthng 4 her? Oh wait i guess its 4 the best... Aftr all woman cum nd go myb js myb i wont gt hurt even if she strts actng weird.. I say 2 calm myslf... Our relationship became a bit close, in some way i strtd falling deep in lv wit her... I lyk evrythng abt her, the way she smiles, the way she tlks,walks, the way she held me.. The way we wld laf at sumthng 2gthr.. Her reminding me tht m young.. Tha way she wld tlm 2 tke off my shades wen m wlkng wit her.... In some kind of way this lil thngs tht many myt thnk r silly gt me 2 fall in love wit her... I kept it 2 myslf because i thot y shld i bother tlng her how i feel wen i knw she dsnt feel the same? So even though i once tld her i love her. She wil forever see me as her side chck nothng more. But u knw wat they say.. U nvr knw until u ask... I once askd her ths relation of ours has no title ayt? Wat wl happen if i gt attached? So attached dat i dnt wana let go anymore? she replied me nd said dnt gt too attached... it ws alrdy 2 late i ws alrdy deep inlve wit her nd then i decided 2 k3p quite abt how i felt.. Ths feelings r stl haunting me... I love ths woman dearly i wish i cld hv hr without any1 being hurt.. Bt hey after all diary we hv 2 learn 2 b strng nd b able to withstand any decission made dat concerns us nd b able 2 accept that love dsnt hurt loving wrong ppl does... Well ths is so wrng bt it feels so ryt... Ths is the woman of my dreams wel i gues bt ths is the woman i wl lyk 2 spnd alot of tym wit... I love you... Always knw tht i do nd deeply... Ahh diary... U ddnt hlp much i stl love ths woman i wrote on to try nd 4gt abt it bt hey i stl love her... Dear Diary u sumhow knw how 2 advice me... Pen nd paper does the job... #TAPTOX
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 08:31:05 +0000

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