Dear father, it is the first Eid I am celebrating without you. Days have turned into months, yet the spaces that you left behind are as dark as the pall of gloom that descended some 9 months ago. Every corner in your house makes me feel your presence. It seems as if you are yet to wake up to have a date with death, just beside me in my room,yep!that abode of sleep from where you woke up to sleep for ever. Life is going on, but your death is hard to believe. Your remembrances haunt me every moment. I remember you when people praise their wards and there is none to make noise about this empty vessel. Small stints at success, since you left have gone unnoticed and unrecognized. There is nobody to pat my back. This recluse son of yours can’t narrate his marksmanship, for the audience is not as encouraging as you. My acquaintances though remember you for your naivety I can’t forget you for your shrewdness to foresee what those mindful people can’t see in this money -minded world. I curse myself for trying to tutor you to come to terms with this world where even sympathies are bargained. While you would greet every passerby from the maddening crowd as if you knew him for years. On the eve of Eid it is hard to escape your memory for there is none to keep entertaining us till the mother finishes her Eid prayers. This Eid how can I be rest assured that the purifying dues have been paid in advance. And who would there would be to tease me, if I remembered paying dues before prayers. Nobody would accompany me in watching my Eid bulletin and there would be none to assemble the relatives to play my audience. I am still running that mad race which may keep my pocket loaded but can’t bring my Eidi back. The Eidi you gave me low on count and high on blessings. Who would be after me to visit our near and dear ones to pay your respects? At home my mother would try her best but won’t be as hospitable as you to our guests. I brood over those reasons you came up with, while hosting the strangers at home. On this Eid,older I have grown by a year but am still not old enough to play with kids as passionately as you despite being an elder at home. I can’t help but be nostalgic when people familiar to your demeanors give me a cold staring look, probably comparing my “mind your own business” attitude to your “please all”manners. Inspite of all these unforgetting moments nothing gives me as much pleasure these days than to see your name featuring against mine in some of the outcomes of spent midnight oil with your inspiration. Lost as I may seem to be in my routine work, can’t forget what I owe you. I don’t care a fig if people fail to register the sense of deprival in me, for I am possessive about my memories of the person who gave me all that I possess in life. I have a dream of making his dream come true. For that I must keep going on, and this Eid along with its rich memories reinforces my resolve to bring that all for my family, which my father labored all his life and ended up without seeing himself through. I believe therefore you are, somewhere around watching me, I want to have your blessings as my Eidi. Send them so that on this day I am not found short of all that matters for those who know what parting of their dear ones means. Dear father! Your loss! Oh! a big difference to me!
Posted on: Tue, 29 Jul 2014 09:47:30 +0000