Dear friends, Again it’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything lengthy, and I thought you might like something different clogging up your page instead of Referendum stuff. It has been a good few weeks, although the dreaded Manflu which I talked about in my last piece of waffle is still hanging around, albeit as a very nasty cough, but as Gloria Gaynor sang..’I Am What I Am’. Ermm, hang on that’s not it, oh yes ‘I Will Survive’ Talking of the 1970’s, what a night the Glitter & Twisted evening turned out to be. From the moment we struck up with the Top of the Pops theme, the floor was packed most of the night. The Gary Glitter record went down well to a packed floor (I played safe with ‘I Didn’t Know I Loved You Till I Saw You Rock And Roll’), the only complaint being that there were not more GG records. It goes to show that people can actually separate the music from the man. It was great to see so many friends there who all turned out to support Maggie’s Fife, and in doing so raising around £680 for the cause. One hilarious moment was when Brian Christie decided to wear a cap while up dancing to the Rubettes, only to be told to remove it by the bouncer, for what reason, I can’t fathom. Good job he never wore a Noddy Holder stove pipe hat! And despite it being August, I just had to finish the night off with ‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday’, again to a packed floor. All in all it was a great success and there’s even talk of doing something again, so watch this space. A couple of weeks later it was a gig of a different kind as I was asked to be a motivational speaker at a Maggie’s fundraising dinner. I decided not to prepare a speech but just to talk about whatever came into my mind regarding this journey, and it was the best way to approach it as it seemed to go down well and quite a few people saying it has changed their perspective on life. But what about my own perspective? Well, as most of you will know since I was diagnosed as terminal, I have pretty much kept away from the medical people. Bravery or Cowardice? Facing reality or hiding my head in the sand? Probably a bit of both to be honest. However, the illness is beginning to show signs of gathering a wee bit of pace. The swallowing is becoming a bit more difficult and I really have to be careful about what I eat, although I’m beginning to realise it’s as not as much about what I eat, rather, how I eat. For instance, I tried a fish supper on Friday past, which isn’t a great deal to most of you but it was to me. There was no way I could eat the chips (I did manage around half a dozen), but I did manage the fish even though it took me 70 minutes to do so. And there’s the crux. If I’m out anywhere, the temptation to want to eat the food I like, coupled with the pressure I bring on myself to eat at the same pace as everyone else is quite literally a recipe for disaster, and so I stick to soup now, or more likely not eat at all when out. However, there have been a couple of dodgy moments at home, which have resulted in food getting stuck quite badly and the gag reflex going into involuntary spasm while food can’t move. I won’t go into great detail but suffice to say it’s quite a scary few minutes when this is going on, and seems to take ages to get over, leaving me shaky and quite drained. With this in mind I decided to see the specialist just to discuss things. The great news is that she couldn’t believe how well I looked and had fully expected me to be showing signs of decline. Either I’m looking really well now, or I looked completely shit when diagnosed!! However, they still don’t reckon I should be buying Christmas cards so should I survive beyond Christmas (and I fully intend to) but you don’t get a card or a present, don’t blame me. And should you buy me a present, keep the bloody receipt, just incase you have to get your money back!! What she did admit was, that it seemed that my decision not to take treatment was the right one, although that door does remain open should I change my mind. We discussed further tests to which I don’t see the point. Why go through tests to find out if it has spread, and if it has, then to concentrate on that? Better ignorant bliss and keep going on being optimistic, After all there’s three things have got me to this point, a point which is only 5 days away from being 5 months down the line. My positive attitude, the love of my family, and the love of my friends. THESE are the things that have ensured my survival so far! And so, to finish off with, I’d just like to thank you all once again for being there. I apologise if I haven’t spoken to some of you as much as I should, but things have been quite busy, and that’s probably the best thing to be right now. But I’ll still take you up on the coffee offers (and I haven’t forgotten the boobysqueezathon either – but no manboobies please..Stewart Gilmour’s were enough for one lifetime) and I hope you’ll bear with me. Above all, remember one thing Do something for someone to make them feel special today. You may never get another chance Love Ally x
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 21:39:05 +0000
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