Dear neighbor with the white and grey cat, I dont appreciate your feline fatty coming into my garage and eating my cats food. I do realize that leaving my garage cracked and food on top of the chest freezer is inviting scavengers to come and scavenge. Your cat is not a scavenger, however. A scavenger would be the raccoon that was stealing Lucys food last fall, and that problem has been taken care of. I apologize for throwing blocks of wood at your cat as it scurries around the corner of my house. I have yet to actually hit your elusive creature, or I would assume it wouldnt have come back. Short of teaching your cat to read and clearly marking Lucys food with her name, I do not have very many options. I have considered many options but most of them would put Lucy in danger as well (I.e. poison). Also, I do not have the time or knowledge to electrify the water bowl or construct a CATapult. I would gladly accept money to pay for your half of the cat food that I purchase. Until I receive any money, Ill just keep heaving wooden blocks at your cat. If I can get a trap, I may try to lure it into the trap with some tuna. At which time, I will post a ransom note on FB and you can retrieve your heifer with proper funds and the promise of no return. I hope we can work through this. Philip
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 02:08:32 +0000
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