Dear newly married sister, dont despair when you get married and after some days, weeks, or months, it seems like you and bro are not compatible afterall. You still are... if you ever were. It is normal for you both to begin to see things you did not see before ...when love clouded your eyes. It is normal for you to relax and expect him to keep chasing ... and it is normal for him to relax and expect you to appreciate him. Your feelings and expectations are normal. You begin to expect more from each other. But note that you are now home. This is a new life. You were never a wife, now you are. He was never a husband, now he is. It is a new role... a new life... a new responsibility ...a new terrain ...a new path... a new territory... all unfamiliar. You may not immediately be able to perform your roles well... no matter for how long you watched your parents peaceful and loving marriage... they also got there through much patience and practice. You will have to learn and grow yours too... even if you were very good with friends, have read many marriage books, possess good relational skills....etc There were no rehearsals to prepare you or perfect you for your new role... you only rehearsed for the wedding... and daydreamed about the marriage ...and you saw all things bright and beautiful ... There were no handouts except that of others... which may not work for you. Yet, one thing will help you in the midst of it all. Your anchor will hold strong... if you are friends with Him. He will let you know it is no big deal. He will assure you that all will soon pass and everything will stabilize. He will give you tips that will help you relate, understand and know each other better ...as time goes on. So you dont despair ...get worried ...feel you have missed it or that, you got it wrong and begin to remember how a friend warned you... or what a brother told you... and then begin to react or respond from such an angle... Remember you dont really like beans but you ate it with love with him in courtship because he likes it. He also does not like rice but he ate it with you in love during courtship because you like it. Now you want to eat rice and he says, No I want beans. And you are like but you pretended as if you liked it while we were courting? Oh, so you dont really love me ...you only pretended to... blablablabla... He loves you. Learn to eat beans with him in love. He will also do same with your well-loved rice ... or better still, start combining the two and make it rice and beans. Do not despair ...be patient with him... understand that there are forces that do not want your unity in the first place... and just like the devil came in through Eve... he would be targeting you, my sister. Dont allow him. Keep your calm. Keep your tongue. Watch your words. Speak not in anger. Speak not in exaggeration. Speak not falsely. You feel like nagging? There is someone who would not mind... nag God. Pray. Watch. Meditate ...Ask for directions ... Selah (A Letter to Deborah)
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 04:30:20 +0000
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