Dear people who have decided to come to the gym in 2015: First of all, thats awesome. Good for you. And I hope you continue it. Here are a few tips so that the rest of us dont kill you: 1, Its a gym, not an overnight stay. You need at most a couple of things: your music, your keys and a sweatshirt. You dont actually need a gym bag to, say, jump on the recumbent bike or the elliptical. But just in case you do have soooo much stuff that you need to carry it in a bag inside.the.gym (as opposed to leaving in in your car), those funny looking black things at the front are called lockers. Look into one. I dont need to trip over your stuff on the floor. I do enough of that at home with my kids. 2, Speaking of stuff, its terrific that you got new gym stuff for the holidays. I find a new top or a new pair of workout shoes pretty motivating. But, um, you dont have to wear them all at once. And related: the stuff with neon and reflectors is meant for outside. You are blinding me. 3, Wear what you want but... remember that the rest of us can see you. And we see what you look like now, not what you hope to look like. And while Im all about a positive body image (you go girl!), promise me that youll take a peek in the mirror before you bound into the gym next time. When you, say, wear a high waisted panty with a low rise yoga pant, we all know. Trust me. And its not an image I need to carry in my head all day. 4, Dont make noises on the machine. The grunting and stuff? It doesnt say youre working hard, it makes me think I need to call 9-1-1. 5, Dont sit on the machine. This is not social hour. It *might* be for you but I have a very narrow window to get myself to the gym on a machine and home again before the children build something enormous inside my house. So if youre at the gym to have a coffee and chat with a friend, thats great. But they have chairs for that. Those funny things with wheels? Not chairs. Bikes. And I need you off of one so that I can get on. 6, Im at the gym, not a concert. Bully for you for having a heavy metal playlist. Or shaking it off with Taylor Swift. But I dont need to hear it. And if I can hear your music OVER my own music when were both wearing headphones, yours might be too loud. Also, go see a doctor. 7, Similarly, although Im wearing headphones, I can still hear your conversations. AS CAN EVERYONE ELSE. This is not Real Housewives of Phoenixville. Keep the gossip a little bit quieter. (In related news, sir, I believe the reason your wife actually left you is because youre an @ss.) 8, Keep your eyes on your own paper. Er, machine. I love that you are so enthusiastic about your workout. But stay enthusiastic about yours, not mine. Dont keep looking over at my machine and offering me your silent input with thumbs up and stuff. Its creepy. And annoying. But mostly creepy. Im sure Ill think of something else (like dont throw my coat on floor when you cant find a hanger but I feel like that should be self-evident, silly me). Ill keep you posted.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 15:06:55 +0000
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