#DearBlackMen To my son not yet conceived, I’ve made choices that will allow you to come into this world with a level of privilege I did not have. It was hard work, but it was important to me. It is important for me to realize my goals and dreams on a personal level, but also because I want you to know that anything is possible for you. Still son, this privilege will not protect you in the way it protects those who are not Black. Race matters in America, and it will likely matter throughout your life. To that I say, be yourself anyway. Be who you are, which includes knowing what you value and what you stand for, as well as knowing your value and worth. I will never teach you to cower, shrink, or operate in fear. Move in courage, son. Your mother thinks your personhood is worthy of exercising every right you’ve been afforded in this country. And you will mess up and not get everything right at times. That is allowed, and natural consequences, as well as the ones established by your parents, will follow. There are some people in this country who believe that if you act imperfectly in any way, small or large, officers of the law, or even civilians, are allowed to take your life. I vehemently disagree, because I would never think the same of their children. Don’t be blind to those people. Be aware of them. They are still worthy of love, despite their toxic views, but you don’t have anything to prove to them. The foundation of our house and family values is love. In all things move in love, but love does not require you to shrink. Love does not require you to remain silent, unless you choose to. Love does not require you to tip toe. Love doesn’t require niceness, but honesty. Of course I want you alive and well, able to live out the full of your life and realize any dream and goal you have. But if you are ever confronted with someone who thinks less of you, you do not have to engage respectability politics, nor shucking and jiving to appease that person if you don’t so chose. Be respectful, because that is congruent with what our family values, but also assertive. I will show you how to do this son. Be wise, loving, thoughtful, and authentic with everyone, but especially the people you care about, because we model that for you and offer that to you, not because it offers you any protection. It doesn’t. Character isn’t acting for an outcome or a perception. It is acting consistently authentic in a way that is aligned with your love-promoting core values. If you want to fight for something, fight for justice. If you want to die for something, die for freedom. If you want to live for something, live for love. I have been, and will continue to be, very thoughtful about who I choose to create you with. It is likely that your father and I will be warriors of light and love. We will provide a blueprint, but you don’t have to be us to be worthy of love and life. You don’t have to be perfect. You will be born deserving.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 14:06:24 +0000
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