Deb Wiggins Yesterday at 4:55pm . Okay Brat family - I need your help. Where can I send this? Im going to post this on several Brat sites, but I truly want feedback. Its been eating at me and Ive been working on it, and this is what Ive come up with. Where will it do the most good or should I toss it? Thanks! I keep seeing that the author was pressured into replacing the term Brat. That pretty much tells me everything I needed to know; she was not a Brat, she had no actual experience and for all I know probably never interacted on a personal level growing up with real Brats. The most important thing I take from her inability to stand up for herself is that she has no backbone and isn’t capable of standing up for herself, nor what she believes in. This is a far cry from what a Brat would have done. Additionally I’m seeing references that before one is critical, one should read the book. The title alone (Little C.H.A.M.P.S (Child Heroes Attached to Military Personnel),” would prevent me from doing more than a passing glance, at the closed book. Gut instinct alone would steer me away from this book; that and the fact that I personally find the title offensive. Military children are not heroes. Military personnel are heroes. Law enforcement personnel, firefighters, search and rescue teams, and more, are heroes. Military children are BRATs. The modern word BRAT actually came from an acronym that dates back hundreds (at least 300 years) of years into the British Empire. It originally stood for “British Regiment Attached Traveler. Military children are not “attached” to anything; and if they are then someone forgot to cut the umbilical cord and that needs to be addressed immediately. Brats are completely independent and know what is expected of them and what they need to do to accomplish their goals. Separation from family is not unheard of, and is actually expected, but Brats are adept at adjusting and have a resilient, tenacious attitude that is enhanced with each new experience and serves them well as Brats and for the remainder of their lives. The life of a military brat is a unique experience that cannot be replicated. It is a life generally devoid of close family relationships, other than the immediate family related to the individual serving in the military. Close personal relationships with grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles are seldom experienced during the usual formative years, and in many cases, are but superficial in later years. This is especially true for Brats that spent little to no time in the USA, but found themselves moving from country to country. Brats learn quickly how to form near instantaneous relationships, a.k.a. make friends, as soon as they find themselves in a new environment, or when someone new appears where they are. The flip side to that is brats are continually aware that all relationships will end, generally abruptly, and in most cases will not continue once relocation/reassignment happens. Yes, for many brats this may mean that as they age and as they leave their Brat life behind, they may have difficulty with lasting relationships; however, far many of them do have lasting marriages, long careers, and raise healthy and happy children. Brats also learn quickly that respect for other cultures, other countries, and other beliefs is of the upmost importance. They, more than civilian children, appreciate the need for routine and adhering to the rules and following the directives of their parents without question. In many respects, brats are far wiser than their civilian counterparts, and for the most part because their up-bringing has been far more different than their civilian counterparts, they are not usually accepted or welcomed by their counterparts when they find themselves in say, an American civilian public school. Generally brats, who are by nature outgoing, poised, self-reliant, confident, and extremely proud of the lives they have led, are accused of showing off, of being braggarts. Civilian factions find it difficult to relate to someone who is say, 15, and has attended four to six different schools, has lived in as many, or more countries, has seen places that civilian children have only experienced via the Discovery channel or in textbooks, and is usually much better educated and is striving to learn even more, and much more that their civilian counterparts. Contrary to the belief of the author, Brats have had many years of adapting and have less trouble accepting the cold shoulders than the author of the book would have one believe. Brats have already learned that everything changes; from their location, to people they know, and events that they experience. A major part of how civilian children relate to Brats probably has a great deal to do with how the parents of the civilian children feel about military families and the military in general. A key component to clearly remember is: children live what they learn. That is true regardless of religion, location, lifestyle, race, income, occupation, and much more. Military children are raised to respect their elders, people of authority, family, and other children. They know where they have to be, when they have to be there, and what they need to be doing. Additionally, they know there are ramifications if rules are not followed. Generally, there is a greater mindset difference in a civilian home as opposed to a military home. What truly annoys me about the author of this book is that because she never walked the walk, she cannot even begin to fathom the private lives of brats. She has no comprehension of the continual level of security in which brats live; security on the base, in the community, within the home. Military children know to observe everything around them, to listen but not eavesdrop, to maintain safe surroundings and how to evade those that would cause harm. They know to keep what they hear to themselves because they never know who may overhear. A great many military children live with the continual knowledge that when their military parent walks out the door, it may be the last time he or she is ever seen alive. Very few civilian children live with that and can in no way relate to it. There are countless numbers of brat groups that offer support, reunions, friendships, ways to connect with people that were known to them 50, 40, 30, 20 years ago. The golden age of internet technology has made this possible. The majority of these sites have been havens for aging brats; individuals long away from the brat life, but still not thoroughly welcome and/or comfortable amid naught but civilians. The lack of patriotism, the lack of respect for the military, the lack of respect for humans in general is a mind-set that brats cannot, and will not, accept. While I applaud (in a luke-warm way) the efforts of this group, in general I find it demeaning to military children. Unlike civilian children of today, military children do not expect to receive an award, a trophy, or special recognition simply because they took part in a game, ran a race, completed an assignment, helped an elderly person cross a street, completed a homework assignment or any number of things that one can think of for which civilian children expect to be recognized for. Brats have been living in a world of team like effort filled with authority, responsibility, honor, self-reliance, understanding, acceptance, and compassion their entire lives; it is second nature to them. I find that the outreach provided to military families in general is genuine and well-intentioned and perhaps that, more than a direct focus on the young children, would be far more beneficial to any and all involved. The gregarious attitudes of young military children is infectious, heartwarming, and endearing, but one must remember that those children, like children the world over, enjoy being the center of attention. That’s not a bad thing, not at all, however, it is the military family as a whole that would most benefit from helpful outreach of this non-profit organization. To sum it up, what I have gathered from exploring the site is that it is well-intentioned, but staffed by those who have no hands-on knowledge of actual military life other than what they’ve observed from the outside looking in. They will see what those they are observing want them to see, nothing more, nothing less. Those who choose to join the military do so willingly and learn quickly. The lessons they learn are, in many respects, applied to their home lives and this is the atmosphere in which their children grow, and thrive, in. The life of a military Brat is far different than the life of a civilian child, as many Brats learn once they leave that life behind. A suggestion would be to access a computer and visit the website en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_brat_(U.S._subculture) to learn as much as possible about military children. I would also like to suggest that the author revisit the intent of her book and seriously consider rethinking her lack of outreach to communicate with the multiple Brat organizations, including the myriad of Brat groups on Facebook. As it stands right now, her actions have done more to anger the majority of them than she realizes; beginning with the simple fact that her attempt to change the nickname from Brat to “champ” is a major bone of contention for many. A boxer who wins matches over and over is a Champ; a military child is a Brat.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 23:09:51 +0000