December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John: Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way. My love always, Agnes December 15, 1972 Dearest John: Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. Im just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16, 1972 Dear John: Oh! Arent you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I dont deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, youve been too kind. All my love, Agnes December 17, 1972 Dear John: Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but dont you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic. Affectionately, Agnes December 18, 1972 Dearest John: What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. Youre just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves. All my love, Agnes December 19, 1972 Dear John: When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So youre back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I cant sleep through the racket. Please stop. Cordially, Agnes December 20, 1972 John: Whats with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? Theres bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I cant sleep at night and Im a nervous wreck. Its not funny. So stop those freaking birds. Sincerely, Agnes December 21, 1972 O.K. Buster: I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? Its not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I cant move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass. Agnes December 22, 1972 Hey Shithead: What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now theres nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. Theyve never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and theyre stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. Youll get yours! Agnes December 23, 1972... ...more: (check below) ~ Adhish ~
Posted on: Wed, 27 Aug 2014 01:30:11 +0000
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