December 29th already!! How the heck did that happen? In the last 48 hours Ive been doing some real soul searching and although I may not have al the answers (I never will), I did realize that Ive come too far in life to let whats important slip through my fingers. Life is hard. YUP!! No doubt about it. Since August Ive gone through some of the hardest changes in my life and I lost my focus in the process. My weight climbed, my running shoes were not pounding the pavement and I was in daily survival mode. Yesterday I participated in an Ugly Sweater Run (it was only 3.2km) and I struggled. This girl ran a Full Marathon back in June (42.2km)... how the hell does that happen? VERY EASILY!!!!!! The first half of my run was hell yesterday. I beat myself up with every step I took. Getting madder and madder at how I could let this happen. How did I become 15-20 pounds heavier? How did I struggle running up a hill, when hills had finally been easy to me. Once I reached the top of the hill, I stopped being mad. I realized I got over that hill and survived. Just as I got through Summer and Fall and all its hardships (and I survived). As I looped around on the run course, my attitude changed. I started thinking about where I was, how I got here and what needs to change. I started thinking about running, I started to think about 2015 Johnny Miles Marathon. I started thinking about how much work I need to do if I want to run another Full. When I finally crossed that finish line yesterday, I felt as though I was back. I felt as though I was focused. I felt as though the rough patch was behind me and that I could now move forward. I had made it through a break-up, a change of residence, Christmas and 2 kids Birthdays (the week of Christmas). I managed to get through all of that and I did not die. I let go of the guilt that I was not Superwoman. I let go of the guilt that my waistline is bigger and that some of my clothes do not fit anymore. I have two beautiful children and they had a wonderful Christmas and Birthday parties and I did it all on my own. So what if I gained some weight... Life is a bigger picture than that scale. Now that I proved myself stronger and more resilient than before, I will focus on ME again. I will find that girl that loves to run, loves to prep food and loves to inspire others. 2015 is going to be another great year. This I know to be true!!
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 14:59:59 +0000
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