Defining the Nairobi woman She is not like the humble Wanjirus I was used to back in Makuyu-Muranga. The Nairobi woman loves pain, she loves to be pricked, you will find her face with many rivets, screws and bolts that she calls earrings, nose rings, eyebrow rings, tongue rings, lip rings etc and she complains of violence against women while she violates herself. The Nairobi woman earns a salary of 10k yet she stays in a bungalow worth 40k... you wonder how she raises the rent. She will always have flu yet she has no idea that KenKnit still makes sweaters that can keep her warm. Well, she made the petticoat extinct and now she is working on eliminating the bra and she will complain that men are ogling at her breasts...though she is as broke as a church mouse , you will ALWAYS find her at Java... Where I come from, ‘going out’ means going to the toilet at night but to the Nairobi woman it is galloping from one club to the other with her gang of confused girls... this woman shocks me. Other women would be proud to share their bed with a child but this woman has a brood of ugly teddy bears named after her exes that she tells stories of her escapades ..’you see Johny, today this jamaa angaliad me and I angaliad him so we angaliad each other... I be like WTF!!! Now picture this. She cares about her artificial hair more than she cares about her head... she would rather suffocate herself with a polythene bag than see water drop on the ugly stinking weave. When she goes to sleep, the stocking on her head makes mosquitoes think it is Halloween. Heck, they don’t even need the Doom advert to feel scared. This woman would tell you she is ‘watching her weight’ when she is watching the plate full of chips and half chicken that she is gallantly gobbling down her throat at KFC ... The Nairobi woman would rather quench her thirst with Smirnoff than cold water... And she does not feel hungry either, she gets a craving. This craving at times makes her think ice cream is a meal! You may think she loves rings but try to put a wedding ring on her finger and her gang of girls will make her disappear without a trace... since long ago and truly I need a millennium to learn that this is Stacy and not Scholastica, the girl who migrated from our village to come to Nairobi for a BA degree in P.E at one of the Universities.
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 11:30:00 +0000
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