Dementia Demon Knocks At My Door Within seconds of my head hitting the pillow last night I was fast asleep, quickly followed by the Demon that goes by the name of Lewy Body`s. My “Angel” Elaine says within minutes of me being asleep I was up, shouting, cussing, and fighting the invisible enemy. Invisible to everybody else that is but a very clear and present danger to my family and me. The most frightening thing about last night is I have absolutely no memory of any of this. Sometimes I can recall bits and have flashbacks as the day goes on (Maybe this will happen later today) but as yet it’s not happened, and I am not looking forward to it one bit if it does!! Is it my imagination or is this happening more often these days? Are my hallucinations becoming more frequent and more intense? Am I being told everything? I am sure I am but sometimes the doubt creeps in as I think? If the tables were turned, would I tell Elaine everything? Word for word, action on action?? Mmm, I`m not too sure as I wouldn’t want to explain in detail the full horror of this disease. Last night just before 8pm I saw shadows dancing all around the Patio door curtains, they frightened me to death! I remember jumping up and shouting to Elaine “WHO are they? What do they want?? Apparently it was just the carer for next door watering her garden? But the scene I was witnessing felt so evil and intimidating to me and had me on edge for a while. Sometimes it’s so very hard to get up in a morning and that’s something I haven’t admitted before. If I get so very tired, how tired must Elaine be? And yet, she soldiers on through every day with a smile on her face and not only helping me but also others where we live, INCREDIBLE!! Would I have the same patience and understanding? The jury`s out on that one!! Hours merge into days, days into months and months into years. It’s been two years or so (Not too sure) since I was told I had been misdiagnosed and I didn’t have Alzheimer’s but Lewy Body’s type dementia and I must admit the days have felt a lot longer ever since. I have long said its like having TWO diseases, having it and knowing you have it!!! It’s a madness that invades your brain and even though you know some of the things you have just done don’t make any sense at all, you still carry on doing them!! it’s like Lewy Body`s has a remote control of your actions and you are powerless to stop it!!! And yet, somewhere in the deep recess of my brain I BELIVE!! I BELIEVE that one day there will be a cure! And more importantly I BELIEVE I will be around when that happens I will be in the queue to receive my medication. How could I look my children and grandchildren in the eye if I didn’t believe this? What kind of role model would I be if I just gave up, stopped fighting and let this God awful disease win?? It AINT GOING TO HAPPEN!! I have just fixed my you tube link (I think LOL) so I will soon record a video about living with Lewy Body’s, (Please note I said LIVING not dying from or suffering) and I hope it helps, thank you for reading this and I hope this helps as well Best wishes, Norrms Mc Namara Diagnosed with Dementia five years ago and still fighting it!!
Posted on: Sun, 07 Jul 2013 09:47:37 +0000
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