Dementia`s dreams I dream every night, sometimes all night, sometimes just as i go to sleep and just before i wake up. No rhyme or reason, just the way it is. Sometimes they are just dreams, but unfortunately, most of the times they are night terrors, but the one thing that connects them all together is the feeling of despair, emptiness and terrible loneliness i feel inside whilst experiencing them. I am forever tired, even though i dont show it outwardly. If you can imagine Just as you drop off to sleep, someone switches a horror film on and you are not only made to watch it but you are actually in it for how ever long, then as the film reaches its horrific pinnacle, you wake up!! Having to face another day with what feels like no sleep at all, thats the only way i can explain it, so draining so tiring and so soul sapping. In every dream, without fail, i lose Elaine, my darling Angel, i am looking everywhere for her, my fear is almost plausible and i can wake up screaming her name in the dark of the night!! When i try to phone her in my night terrors my phone NEVER works and sometime just disintegrates in front of my eyes as i feel my life doers sometimes. I have lost count of the times i have woken and swayed my arms about the bed until i can feel the love of my life lying next to me, by now reassuring me that all is ok. I cannot put into words the relief i feel when i know she is there and have collapsed into tears of sheer relief at the touch of her hand. Dementia is not all about memory, but about touch, smell, thoughts, movements, Eyesight, walking abilities and so much more !!! If just not about forgetting loved ones but about losing your life skills and confidence as well as the reasoning of problems and the such like. Its such a complicated disease and shows itself in many forms and shapes. The night terrors and dreaming are just a part of what we have to put up with. the hallucinations are a different story altogether as these are very real to the likes of myself and can happen anytime of the day, more so in the evening and during the night in my case , but then again they have been known to show themselves during the day as well. They are petrifying and very real to me and must be so alien to others and so hard to explain away to others who are not educated in dementia. All these things we must face my friend, but by facing them together, educating people in the way we do, we are breaking down those barriers , one by one, Two by Two and more!!! We all have our problems, dementia or not, we still have fences thrown in front of each of every one of us every day of our lives, but!! The difference is we are prepared to JUMP those fences , CLEAR them by a good FOOT and still find the time to help others !! Thats what makes us so different, and that is why the message and the help from the Global Purple dementia awareness campaign will never diminish !!! Here`s To a FANTASTIC 2015 !! Much love, Norrms, Elaine and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 16:02:26 +0000
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