Deployment survival tips . STAY POSITIVE. Take it one day at a time and focus on the present, and look forward to the future. Playing the “what if” game for a long period of time WILL drive you insane. The days only get better! 2. It’s ok to be sad, to cry, and to scream every once in a while. It’s ok to not be ok! Bottling up those emotions are only going to hurt you in the long run. You can talk to someone about it, or write it all down. You’ll feel a lot better after you do. Also, remember that your service member isn’t leaving you just to leave you, this is his/her job. He/she needs you to be strong, especially when he/she needs support. It’s not fair to make them feel guilty, even when you feel justified in doing so. 3. Count down by Sundays (per week) instead of EVERY day. 52 is a much smaller number than 365! Having this kind of countdowns makes the time seem to pass a lot faster. 4. Take this time to learn something new. Grow as a person, learn a new skill, get a new hobby, etc. Your service member will be impressed when he/she gets home. ;) 5. While your S.O is gone, get to know him/her all over again. Ask him/her the same questions you did when you met. Ask him/her how is day is every day, and never question his/her love for you. 6. If you can’t seem to pick yourself up out of bed or dry the tears from running down your cheeks stop and think a second if my service member was here right now what would he/she be saying to me? What would they think of my crying now? What would they tell me to do to make it all better? And then if you don’t guilt yourself into stopping at least try to get up and do what you think they might tell you to do. Remember the reason why you are doing this in the first place – because you are in love with the most wonderful man/woman in the world and it will all be worth it in the end. 7. Write in a journal everyday or night. Put down your thoughts, feelings, what you did and anything else. You could then show it to your soldier when he/she gets back. They’ll really enjoy reading about stuff you weren’t able to tell them on emails or phone calls during their deployment. 8. To ensure you don’t go crazy with all your built up conversations you want to share with your service member email them when they come to you. I set my email up to my phone so it feels just like I’m texting him still. And then when we do get to talk we touch on what I sent him or just have a whole new conversation. It makes me feel like we get to talk more often than we actually get to. 9. Take pictures or videos of random moments you & your service member have. Something that has been wonderful for us are the videos I took before my husband left. Now, these are just basic 1 minute long videos of my soldier brushing his teeth, telling me funny jokes, etc. I used my camera & my cell phone for these..they both have a video setting. Super easy & then I uploaded them onto my computer. On down days when I just needed a smile, a laugh or to hear his voice… I get to hit play and there he is. 10. Keep yourself busy. I volunteer at the school my kids go to, at church and community every chance I get. It keeps me so busy that I am not thinking about my spouse all the time and getting depressed about it. While I am working I am able to talk to other spouses that are going through the same thing or have similar interests. 11. Get a box to put all your keepsakes in. I have printed off our texts & emails & put them in our special box. They go right along with all our little momentos, letters & cards we’ve given each other so far. We will really enjoy reading over these one day. This is also a great way to keep yourself busy; decorate it, add more to it, etc. 12. Let your friends be there for you. They will never understand what you are going through, but they CAN listen and they mean well. 13. Make friends with people on sites like this! They are the only people that can ever truly understand what you feel, and people who are on these sites truly want to help you and can become your very best friends, even if you never meet them in person. 14. Have a family plan! Make sure all paperwork is in order. Make sure you have given your spouse the correct POA (Power of Attorney). Some may ask “What is a family plan?” Without your spouse with you, it’s important to carry on the normal task of paying bills, making purchases and taking care of the family. A lot of decisions can be made before the deployment. What do I pay? What do I save? On big purchases, what do I buy? My husband and I not only discuss the unpleasant what ifs, but the what is too. Taking charge of a deployment in your life can become a positive personal adventure. You have the ability and responsibility to meet your spouse at the end of the deployment: a whole person, who has grown personally and has continued the task of moving your family forward. 15. Keep pictures of the both of you together in your nightstand, purse, car, etc. That way every time you look at them you can relive that moment and how much you love & care about each other. :) 16. Try to maintain some sense of normalcy, the more routine you make things, the faster the time will go! Continue to do things like go to the movies, go shopping with friends, etc. Whether you are living your life or curled up in a ball of tears for the next year, your service member will not come home any faster, so you just as soon make the best of it and enjoy every single second you get to chat online or talk on the phone with your loved one! 17. Let this be a positive experience for your relationship. Whether this is your S.O, family member, or friend we’re talking about here, let this deployment bring you closer and make you stronger together. Be there for each other. It can only bring you apart if you LET it. No amount of time or distance can change how you feel about each other unless you both let that happen! -Ashley
Posted on: Wed, 11 Sep 2013 23:12:01 +0000
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