Depression is a liar. Its a very deep, very dark voice that whispers to you so subtly that you believe its your own thoughts. It surrounds you in a fog of self-hatred so thick that it stings your eyes and makes it impossible to see clearly. It sneaks into your dreams at night and poisons your blood during the day, turning everything toxic. It convinces you that not only are you a waste of a human being, but that there is no possible way things will EVER get better. And it does this all so slowly, so maliciously, that you believe its your fault, and cant imagine asking for help because theres nothing really wrong with you.... If youre going through hell, keep going. A few months ago I was daydreaming about ways my body would get found, lifeless and grey. No, I havent told anyone that other than my therapist, and yes, I know how it sounds: twisted as f*ck. Looking back, its disturbing, but at the time it seemed like relief. I dont say this all to freak you out or to bring you down. But I want you to know, THINGS CAN GET BETTER. Ive been there. Get help. Its not shameful, or embarrassing, or your fault. You arent weak, or crazy or stupid. Youre being lied to by a real disorder, a medical condition that wants to bring you down. Fight back. I know this isnt about fitness, but if I can help even one person, then its worth putting out there. If one person can read this and relate, and know they arent alone, its worth spilling my guts. Please get help. Talk to your doctor, to a friend you trust, to me. Send me a message and I promise I will get back to you. Call a hotline or a chatline. (Ill put some in the comments.) You dont need to be suicidal. Theyll listen even if you just need to cry or vent or whatever. But please, please, please know that its ok. YOU are ok and so very worth saving. Things can get better. All my love, friends.
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 01:35:59 +0000