Depression is both fear and anger turned inward. Get them out. Not ON people, just out. Stop the cycle and habit of holding them in and find a way to release them for real, express them and channel them. When we live with, work with, or are connected to those who try to punish us every time we display or express the slightest emotion that they dont like (the supervisor who cant stand humor or illness, the sibling who ridicules our every move, the parent who treats us like were BAD or crazy when we express anything at all, the partner who watches and reacts to our every move, the friend who has to be the ONLY one whos upset, sick, or celebrating,) we tend to develop a habit of holding our emotions in and shutting them down so we dont attract their attention. We actually feel SHAME when we accidentally express something that they might notice. We also tend to develop habits of hiding lots of other things about ourselves as well so as not to attract their attention, to avoid their reactions and punishments. (Whens the last time you got your hair cut or styled, bought a new coat, got great new shoes or clothes, or whitened your teeth? You know theyre going to notice it and make a huge deal out of it, probably point it out to other people, correct you, or criticize it somehow. Too much money... there was a better one somewhere else... howd you afford it... too short... too high... could be better... Whens the last time you laughed so hard for so long that you couldnt breathe, in front of them? Whens the last time you went on an excited tear about something you were passionate about without worrying that they would try to shut you up or shut you down with personal insults and criticisms, or accusations of crazy? Whens the last time you werent anxious, but were ONLY psyched, about showing your ability or talent in front of others? Whens the last time you expressed an emotion without the accompanied anxiety that comes when you KNOW someone is going to be mad that you expressed something?) Do something to channel your anger and fear, and make it something thats constructive and not destructive to you or anyone else (its to make life better, not harder). Make a page like this one with a name you made up, not for bashing, but for expressing and posting your observations and thoughts. Express it all some how. Go to the arcade and play the old games. play your BUTT OFF. DO something. Feel who you are again. Play your guitar or piano like a nutcase. Dance around the house when no ones home. Make faces in the mirror. Watch old Saturday Night Live, or Carol Burnett. Light up all your cylinders like you did when you were a kid (the really good parts). Dance with the dogs and cats. Go to the ZOO. DO STUFF, SAY STUFF, find a place, find a way. Turn the inside OUT.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 01:09:14 +0000
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