Despite a full day, I could not shake the constant stream of online discussion of depression that has ensued as a result of Robin Williams death. The posts and news commentary was a constant companion in my thoughts, even crowding out the task at hand sometimes. How can we, as a civilized society, ignore this dark secret that is, from what I have been reading, not a secret at all? Heart breaking confessions have chronicled both success and failure in attempts to treat, live with and understand the dark abyss and I have learned of even more people - some strangers and others whom I care for - who struggle. So many are bright, accomplished and living productive lives. A few have admitted to the double curse of trying to self medicate, which is somehow, from a human suffering point of view, understandable, but of course, creates another layer of struggle. It is brave to admit such a thing in a society where we make jokes, fear the subject & call out for those who suffer to snap out of it. Even sadder was the very rare post where Williams was called selfish. I understand the emotion - but it just isnt true from what I have read or what I know. The depression he suffered was clearly a brain disorder. And no amount of money, fame or glamour can fix his kind of mental, emotional and physiological anguish. Death it seems, was his way out of unmanageable pain. It is difficult to understand, I know, but the truth is sometimes irrational. A dear friend of mine has struggled for all of our three-decades-long-relationship and being close to her experience has released me from a great deal of fear. She is productive, a wonderful mother, an incredible friend & an engaged professional who has learned to live with her disease. If you met her - youd NEVER imagine what she has been through to get to be who she is today. Of course, when she is struggling, she disappears…and that is always worrisome. But after years of focused study, she now recognizes the signs and immediately begins her protocol to feel better. Not a semester goes by without at least one of my students disclosing some form of mental illness - often times with multi-dignosises. They are often some of my brightest and all but one has successfully finished class. And these are only the ones who DISCLOSE. No doubt, some are too fearful. It seems that some form of darkness is a familiar companion to many. Too many to keep quiet about. Sadly, I have lost people I cared for to suicide. From the private messages I got today - we are all somehow connected by this albatross. Too many people, too much isolation and desperation. As usual, I dont have any real answers but I believe each and every one of us can do SOMETHING to notch up the national conversation and create CHANGE. We can be kinder, be aware and offer help or resources to anyone who appears to need it, (Call 211 in Tampa - please) We can demand that our elected officials take action - and yes, this is an issue that needs institutional attention, in my opinion. I hate to make this a plea, but you can also support organizations that work to PREVENT self destructive behavior as early as possible like Frameworks or those who help in the moments of desperation like The Crisis Center. But mainly, we can LEARN more. We can judge less. But however we do it, we all have to bare down on the fear that keeps this dialogue restricted to whispers and stares. And like every social change that has ever been mobilized - that can only start with me. And you. Its like I tell my clients - even a crisis offers a chance to make a change - for the better.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 01:15:48 +0000
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