Did I read that sign right? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an Office AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a second hand shop WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN Notice in health food shop window CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park (I sure hope so) ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESNT KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR Notice in a farmers field THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. Message on a leaflet IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS On a repair shop door WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD - THE BELL DOESNT WORK) Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Really? Ya think? Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Now thats taking things a bit far! Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over What a guy! Miners Refuse to Work after Death Good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos! Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant See if that works any better than a fair trial! War Dims Hope for Peace I can see where it might have that effect! If Strike Isnt Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile You think?! Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Who would have thought! Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide They may be on to something! Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges You mean theres something stronger than duct tape? Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge He probably IS the battery charge! New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Werent they fat enough Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Thats what he gets for eating those beans! Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Do they taste like chicken? Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half Chainsaw Massacre all over again! Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Boy, are they that tall? And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Did I read that right?
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 23:01:43 +0000
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