Did they just ‘debase’ the economy? ( It is economic masturbation.....So Nigeria is now better than Austria and South Africa. Shame on the people, who, only a week ago, ranked us among the poorest countries in the world) If there was ever a time I felt very proud and content with my ignorance, it was last Friday. I felt so proud I knew next to nothing in economics. That was the only way I could stomach what was happening that day, as I sat glued to the TV. Speaker after speaker praised the Nigerian economy. Yes, this same economy that the rest of us can’t differentiate its head from its tail. They even clapped for themselves . But looking round the hall that fateful day, I could see the ‘why’ of the plaudits. Both the speakers and their audience were witches from the same coven – Harvard Business School, Breton-wood institutions, London School of Economics, etc. They said they had ‘rebased’ the GDP. And suddenly we moved from less than $350 billion to $510 billion GDP. Hard as I tried to listen, all I kept hearing was ‘rebasing the economy’. I consulted my favourite dictionary (Michael West), but there was nothing like ‘rebasing’ there. The only other book I ever read that had such ‘big English’ was ‘Veronica My Daughter’ – from the Onitsha Market Literature series. But I lost my copy of that great book since 1993 and have never seen another copy anywhere else. So, I was left with only my computer, which, as an American product, is not a great teacher of Queen’s English. But I still typed in ‘rebase’ and, lo and behold, it threw back ‘debase’ at me, as the proper word. I refuse to accept that all these people gathered to debase our GDP. In fact, I suspect that there must be something good about this rebasing, especially if it gives all these our ‘book people’ so much feel-good feeling. Yes, this thing that didn’t seem to make much sense to me, they all seemed to agree, is what Nigeria needs to do to be taken seriously by the rest of the statistics-crazy world. Our partner agencies and donor countries are always asking for facts and figures, now they have it. Even Dr. Oby Ezekwesili, whom I expected to tear it apart, threw her weight behind it. But then, I remembered that they all worship at the same economic cathedral. So, I am now also celebrating this ‘rebasing’ feat, even when I feel it is merely using statistics to rub insult into the injury inflicted by our prostrate economy. So, I’m rolling out the drums to celebrate. Nigeria is now better than Austria and South Africa. Shame on the people, who, only a week ago, ranked us among the poorest countries in the world. One good way to prove our new status is to offer free Austrian and South African visas to Nigerians and see if 100 million Nigerians, living below poverty line will not jump at it and emigrate. Mtcheew!! It appears this our economy is becoming an Ali Baba economy, whereby only good people (by that, we mean people in government or those enjoying government patronage) can see all the positive signs. They are the only ones, who see that the economy is growing, inflation is coming down, jobs are being created at the rate of 1.6 million a year, etc. Suddenly, a country that does not know who is going to school and who is not or which school is graduating students or which school is on strike, has suddenly come up with figures of those entering job market every year. Rebasing, indeed! Let them change the marking scheme as much as they like. Let them doctor it to suit our poor performance, we are still where we are. It is just like establishing NECO when it dawned on us that our children could no longer pass WAEC. Yes, our children now have better grades – so many As and Bs – but have standards not continued to go down? It’s just like doubling the width of the goalpost in a football match so that we can score more goals but even if we do score more goals eventually, does it still make us better footballers? They can rebase or debase the economy as many times as they like. They can even take a futuristic base year of 2017, it is all good if it makes them feel to be performing better. But the bottom line remains: We are still hungry. We still do not have electric light. The fuel that our land is drowned in by providence is still scarce at the gas stations. And, by the way, we still can’t trace the NNPC money, the pension funds and the larger chunk of our excess crude accruals. Our treasury is still getting leaner and leaner, as we make more and more money. That, for me, to borrow D’Banj’s words, is the koko of the matter. Anything else, including rebasing this reality, amounts to debasing our collective intelligence. it would, as the Yorubas would say, amount to telling us that this dog we are all seeing clearly today, is a monkey. It is economic masturbation. As for me, I am currently out of my Lagos base – I rebased to Dutse for two days. By the time I get back later in the week, I will endeavour to visit the South African consular office on Victoria Island to confirm that Nigerians are no longer trooping to the place and trampling over themselves and begging to be exploited over visa, now that our country is better than theirs. In fact, I suspect we just want to make this 2020:20 target of government by hook or by crook. I am sure by the time we rebase in another five years, and bring in new sectors like kidnapping, pipeline vandalisation, armed robbery and pen robbery, 419, drug trafficking and baby factories, which were not captured in the latest rebasing, we would move from 26th to 20th – or even 10th, displacing such countries as France, Sweden, Belgium etc. It makes some people feel good. And there’s no law that says we cannot feel happy on an empty stomach, especially on the eve of general elections. That is why when we are placed on oath in court, they ask us to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. This rebasing idea is the truth, but, I dare say, it is not the whole truth. From Our Reporter on April 9, 2014 ....FrankTalk by Steve Nwosu.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 05:45:30 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015