Did you have a narcissistic mother? (Intelligently follow ) Shes a Winner, At Least in Public: Establishing the ‘ideal,’ successful world—career, owning your own home, family—isn’t a simple walk in the park. And no one said it was going to be easy. But there’s someone in your life that makes it look that way: your mother. She’s the woman everyone admires—she’s a judge, lawyer, doctor, or teacher. She’s on the PTA or is the power behind your church or synagogue. She smoothly balances being socially nimble, while contributing to the community in a way that leaves others in awe. In their eyes, she’s superwoman. Most people don’t know that this superwoman has a secret. Like everyone in this world, she has a flaw. No one is the epitome of perfection, and in mom’s case, the issue is narcissism. The outside world may embrace her, but you know mom as self-centered, brittle, easily angered and “always right.” She may be loved by her friends and colleagues, but they don’t know the mom you know. You get maternal love now and then, but it’s unpredictable and punctuated by control, anger and a need to walk on eggshells. Most kids decide just to please her, and hope they get whatever good they can. Success is Not a Synonym for Narcissism: Let’s be clear. The vast majority of successful people are not narcissists, nor do extroverts make bad parents. The narcissist ispsychologically constructed to garner attention, be it from charisma, beauty, smarts or finances. Many people are like this, and a few have narcissistic traits, but healthy people reorient themselves when raising children. Healthy mothers come home and support their kids—not control them. Narcissistic mothers continue to need attention and control, even at home. Patricia A Howard
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 02:44:54 +0000
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