Did you know that the word vanity itself has a double meaning? It means self-love, self-admiration and self-regard but it also means self-absorption, conceit and lack of self-worth. Hmmmm. Not sure if I am one or the other, or both. Maybe a little of each and thats okay. Logic goes out the window when having our desires satisfied. Paulo Coelho wrote in The Alchemist I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected. So, was Narcissus truly vain or a gift to all of us who take pride in looking our very best? I am using my energy to share with all of you my real journey away from self-doubt and low self-esteem to the opposite choice we are all given and that is to choose self-love and to fearlessly speak my truth with love for all to see. I made the decision that I could not endure any kind of laser work on my face. I am a wus and have a very low tolerance for pain. Instead I drove myself to the Desert yesterday and had Juvederm and Radiesse fillers by NurseShirley Wolfe who is the best filler injector I have ever been to...here is the before and after without any makeup and one pic with a little concealer & lip gloss. Once I lose the rest of my weight I will probably opt for a facelift because the fillers are not inexpensive (several thousands to do it right)...after five years of fillers its as much as the surgical fix...as Jane Fonda said, I wish Id been brave enough to not do anything but, instead, I chose to be a somewhat more glamorous grandma. I just got tired of not looking like how I feel. I couldnt say this any better. Looking in the mirror closely at my lines and sagging skin just didnt match how I was feeling which is better than I have since I was in my 30s so it was a personal choice to see myself the way I felt. I also started a regimen of Skin Medica TNS Essential Serum ($260), plus I bought the cleanser, toner, retinol cream, eye cream and lightening cream. For a total of $600.00. When I think of the word vanity, I see it as a powerful motivator. As I continue to steal glances at myself in the mirror, I find myself humming a tune, my heart skipping a beat or two and I release all the negative self-talk and focus on the new me, the me that still longs for romantic candlelight dinners, the me that smiles coyly when someone mirrors back my confidence in how I look and most of all the happier me. Isnt this what we all desire really? To radiate love and happiness to everyone we meet? To be remembered by our loved ones as someone who gave their all...always?
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 18:17:11 +0000
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