Dilemma in Choosing a Spouse (Part 2) Shams, there is something on the table. Take a look at it --- I went to dining hall and saw a wedding invitation. As soon I opened it, I saw the name of the man who came and proposed me few months ago. I retuned to hall and told my mom how happy Im for him and his family. My mom stared at me and said, So you dont care about my happiness? That girl is younger than you and not even educated as you. She is very lucky. I felt a thunderstorm hit my heart. Im trying to act cool. Im not a person who shed tears in front of others. Ma, chill please. Spouse has been written just like our death. Our qadr is different than one another. I tried to sooth my mom. Your words causing more harm than good. Just leave me alone for now. She stood up and went to the kitchen. Few second later I heard her sobs. Oh no, she is crying! --- O Allāh. Am I that bad? I made my mom cry. I began to weep. It was late night. I couldnt sleep. Im tired. Actually Im tired of waiting and hoping. My tears are falling. My breaths are getting deeper. My eyes are swollen. I had the worst feeling, recalling of my moms word. I took my journal and began to write. --- If marriage defines happiness, then let me tell you that Khadijah r.a found her Mr. Righteous at the age of 40. Asiah was married to the worst man on this earth, and Maryam a.s wasnt married at all. If having babies is a sign of blessing then let me tell you that the wives of Prophet Zakaria a.s and Prophet Ibrahim a.s (Sarah) bear child when their hair has turned grey. And tell me about Aisha r.a? A perfect life is not when youre perfect in the sight of the society. Rather, being beautiful in the sight of The Creator is what we should aim for. Indeed, Im not comparable to these noble women. But, at least let them be my inspiration. Because they were the best women walked upon this earth. --- The next morning I saw my mom about to pray Fajr. I volunteered to become the Imam and she accepted it. After we both finished the prayer, I hold her fingers and said, Ma, if I cant give you happiness in this life, I hope my deeds can benefit you In sha Allāh in the hereafter. Im trying Ma.. She took her hand and said with a monotonous tone, Its okay. Deep inside my heart whispered, Ma, one day youll tell everyone that Im your pride... but I just dont know when. ---- Shams, your dad gave you two options. And you must choose either one.... My mom suddenly broke the awkward silence between us. What are the options? I began to feel anxious. My heart skipped a beat.. O Allāh, what is about to come now? ---- To be continued.
Posted on: Thu, 07 Aug 2014 18:16:25 +0000
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