Do you feel you are worthy enough to choose what it is that you say you’d love just because you can? And if you’ve created in your reality what it is that you’ve been choosing, do you allow yourself to fully receive and enjoy these physical manifestations? Some people can but most people can’t. This is my 10th year of coaching and in those 10 years, if I were to dilute all the content of these conversations into one potent theme, it would be about the story of unworthiness that permeates so many peoples’ lives. As I write sitting on a bench on a headland by South Curl Curl beach, a gentleman in his 60’s walks past with a funny safari type hat and a pocket radio in his hand playing country music. I wonder about his life that has afforded him to walk this way, with music in hand, without a feint of apology. In contrast to this, a few days ago a client was talking about her former anorexia. She could see that her anorexia was caused by her belief that said she would only be worthy of great achievement if she suffered greatly first. And so anorexia, a tormented illness she wouldn’t wish upon her worst enemy also became her great achievement. You might think that this is an extreme example of unworthiness in action, but if you are living week to week financially, or if you’ve had disastrous relationship(s), or jobs that you can’t stand or that bore you, or have done things because someone told you to even though it went against your values…..and you feel powerless to change any of this, unworthiness is in action in your neck of the woods too. Unworthiness and powerlessness go together really well. And when you mix unworthiness and powerless with a little bit of hope, you get to experience what it’s like to ‘strive’. ‘Striving’ is seen in a positive light by many. It might even be something you’ve referred to in interviews; when you have strived for something. Well done you. But go to the dictionary and you’ll find definitions such as ‘to struggle vigorously’ ‘to contend in battle or conflict’ ‘to make strenuous efforts toward any goal’ It even gives the example ‘to strive for success’. Wow. Doesn’t that tell a story? Success comes from struggle, battle, conflict and strenuous effort. If we struggle and battle, we’ll then be worthy of success. Success from a sense of ease and authenticity on the other hand, well that would not be found in a modern dictionary. But in my opinion, this is where were heading. And the rule-breakers are leading the way. They have a good sense of worth tucked away in their bellies. So let’s say that you strived and you achieved your goals. Or maybe you even broke out of this success paradigm and achieved your goals from the most authentic and easeful version you have ever experienced yourself as. If that’s where you are, beware. Just because you now ‘have’ what you ‘didn’t have’ not so long ago, are you able to feel worthy of experiencing this new physical reality, without a feint of apology for having it, without a feint of doubt that this reality is indeed possible, not just for now, but for your life? Are you able to ‘have’ without any needing to reason it in or out of your life? Are you able to ‘have’ it just because you can? Because you may have more money in the bank, but you can still feel poor. Because you may now be 15kgs lighter, but you still feel overweight. Because you may have started a new job, but you still feel conflicted. Because you may have started a new relationship, but you still feel unappreciated. It doesn’t matter what you ‘have’ in your physical, external reality if your sense of unworthiness is still alive, ever so subtly. You will continue to project into your life what your sense of unworthiness will want you to believe, see and feel. Feeling worthy is an inside job. Neither circumstance nor person can give this to you or take it away from you. Yes they may have a hand in taking your job away from you or lumping you with a massive tax bill. Yes they may have a hand in giving you a job with an enormous salary or a tax bill that may be reduced to zero. If you are dependent upon what the outside does or does not do for you, you’re back in the cycle of suffering. I know this because I had one of the hardest years of my life last year. I also know this because I have also experienced one of the most easeful and abundant times in my life since October last year. Unless I have cleaned up my act around the belief that I am unworthy of what is available in life just because I am, and there is nothing I need to do, to prove or to suffer to be worthy of ease and abundance, whether I ‘have’ or ‘I haven’t’ is not even relevant. If I don’t clean up my act, the only thing that is relevant is what I have validated as being true – that I am indeed unworthy. All of our reality is simply a reflection of what we believe. You are the host of these beliefs. If unworthiness is fooling around in and with your life, you have the choice to do something about it. Please message me if you feel or wish to feel worthy enough to give yourself the support that would shift this belief well and truly out of your reality.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 03:49:48 +0000
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