Do your best and it wont be appreciated but still it counts for everything its worth... Once i was stolen from by a thief who invited me in, comforted me, lied to me and then stole from me... I knew what was happening when he began to steal as he hid under the table with my paper bag.. I got my bag back and noticed what was missing.. I said nothing and carried on conversation and then Bid fair well as all was well.. I had time on my trip away from him, to think about what was going on and what type of person he was.. People had told me bad of him and i decided to proceed with him under casual no guilt interactions... He had lied and stolen from me and i said nothing, he thought i had no clue but i didnt care and it didnt matter what he took from my bag.. It mattered that he didnt care enough about me and that his actions were treating me as a gullible person who deserved to hand all my efforts and worth of any grade over to him so that he could feel worth everything regardless of any hard work or earning efforts i put in and regardless of if i would go hungry as he went on to his cadillac luxury car.. I never went hungry and was fine going home on my cheap underpowered motor scooter.. I had seen him around and he was a real attention getter ,always shouting it up and getting everyone to notice him and start interactions... I was always quiet and removed everywhere and wouldnt stand a chance in the atmosphere he created of competition for any opportunities around...Hustler. I decided i didnt want to be involved with him and never said anything to him again and stayed away from wherever he made a scene... I never accused him or asked him to make anything right.. Then as time went on and i had somehow drawn a lot of attention around me for things i had done, contributed and impressed many people with, he shows up on the scene with the same old ways on the scene... He once came up and greeted me and i greeted back and said he heard i had lots of skills and i just stayed quiet like i did about his stealing from me... It was important to him what i had ,and that was how it was with him when i had a bag of goodies around him a year before... I moved on and let him be and time went on and he saw i had no interest in any scene he was in until one day he walked by me years after he had stolen from me, and he said at me (not to me), all over a little of what you had in that bag.. He remembered after those years past that he had stolen from me and even though i hid that i knew and acted like he had fooled me, he mentioned it at me even though i never mentioned to him... But the day he mentioned it, it was in bitter scorn towards me as if i was the bad person for him stealing from me... He had become bitter that i was the person drawing so much attention easily from people on the scene, i was very popular even though i was always to myself, and he couldnt come and make a scene around me to reap benefits that he did not sow... And his guilt welled up in him until he lashed out at me with those words about me being bad to him over a little of what i had in my bag years ago when he stole from my bag... I did not feel bad, i let him have it years ago, never mentioned it to him or asked any responsibility or accountability.. And he never offered anything in return until that scorn many years later and embedded in his scorn was the truth that he did take from my bag and he was bitter because i in person, was a hot item, the biggest bag on the scene that day and he wasnt granted open access... Its one thing to forgive him and let him keep what he took and not even have him answer to admitting it and let me play the fool so long as he feels better about it.... Its another thing for him to reconcile within himself and change his ways.. There was no sign of his self reconciliation last i heard for him and it seemed he was circling over me like a vulture for the sum total of my bag of bones and brains and skills to bring to his table to make for him to scavenge what he may under the table out of sight.. It wasnt my bag or material possessions he was after the next time, it was my being, my expression, my image, and my spiritual bag of fruition... I heard what he scornfully said that day and never said a word back or asked any accountability and let him be to think if he may, that i was just what he said and that i owed him but did not cough any up.... Nope, i dont want anything back from him and i dont want him to suffer me, if i suffer him so much inner scorn, i will grant him relief and leave him be always... His power is there to do the right thing, he doesnt need me any more than i have needed him but the lesson is there and i know its harder for him to learn from it than me, because he chooses to hurt more from humility than I do.... Its a choice and its influenced by fear.... There Was no sign he had changed his was and every sign that he was still a hurting man not being honest to himself and i felt bad for him and the people he had managed to latch onto.. Maybe they have a key to open his locked door and release what gives him so much fear of humility... I know i have given him much but it would be unkind and wicked of me to enable him as a lying thief by letting him come and lie and steal from me and play along as if it is me causing him so much scorn.... If we let him go, he will let go of what keeps him stuck in his cycle of fear and pain..
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 20:42:30 +0000
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