Dogs have a way of finding people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didnt even know we had. Lucy filled a space in my heart and a place in our home. I knew she needed me and I needed her. There is no way she could have survived these past 11 days. She has been without meds and is no doubt hurting, she would barely have the physical ability to find food. One fall for her (which occurred almost daily) the wrong way could be detrimental to her survival. I truly feel she turned around when Tim let Tucker in, got disoriented, walked towards the back of the house, fell and has not been able to get back up. She may want to but she doesnt know how because she is disoriented and physically cant. The only other assumption is that someone has her and I dont believe she could have made it to the main road where someone would have been able to help her. I really dont believe that is possible, but if that is the case and someone does have her, then they are assholes for not returning her or taking her to a shelter and I pray they are treating her with love and kindness. We have searched the woods, the brush, the neighborhoods, and the park - where I actually got attacked by a dog while trying to rescue it, ripping my sleeve off my shirt, scratch marks on my back and bite marks in the bottom of my shirt, been a few wild goose chases, we have searched everywhere daily looking for my sweet pea. Nothing. I can cope with loss, but its how this all went down and not having closure that is absolute torture for me. That and the fact that she trusted me to care for her at the end of her life and I let her down. I cant imagine what people go through that have lost children or an elderly person with Alzheimers. I would literally have to be committed or on sedatives 24/7. All that being said, I have to try and close this chapter of my life. I am sure FB world is getting sick of my depressing posts too. Ive closed a lot of chapters recently and hopefully its a sign that the new ones will be just as fulfilling but less heartbreaking. I will always look for her, worry about her, wonder about her and pray she didnt suffer. I want to send a heartfelt thank you for the compassion, prayers and thoughts you have shown over these past 11 days. My heart aches something terrible, and in time it will heal. Time to move on.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 01:38:11 +0000
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