Dont you remember you told me you love me baby? I once told you, Natatakot ako. Baka masaktan lang tayo sa huli because back at that time, I was afraid that I’d lose him one day. I wasn’t sure. Until he told me… Trust me… I’ll never hurt you. I’ll always be here. I love you. Then you hugged me. I’ve never forgotten that night and those words, your promise. - - - Hah! We were HS classmates when I first met you, in fourth year to be exact. I was the one who fell first-in-like till it became love and yet you were too busy back then, loving another woman. We became friends, and fortunately, a close one. You call me almost everyday and I got more attached to you, and yet, one day you confessed that you cannot return the same feelings as mine because you see me as only a friend. I continued being your friend, and from afar, I also continued loving you. We graduated, and during our summer break, you broke up with her. I saw it all, how you became bitter and how painful it was for you. She had another man she loves, and she didn’t chose you. I was hurt for you back then, wishing I could somehow ease the pain. And to that, we became close again. Yes, I used that opportunity to be close to you again. We talked everyday, we had short conversations into a long one that would last till night time. You even came to visit me in our house. I was surprised and happy. And in my mind, I felt like dying because of happiness and excitement. As days become weeks and a month after, you started calling me dear and began telling me lovelots which I had no idea what it was for. I’ve been hurt before by you, for expecting something, so I began to doubt that you feel something for me too, like what I felt for the longest time. You confessed to me during our first semester/year of college, although we weren’t in the same school, you still went to our house just to tell me that you love me but I wasn’t able to reply because I haven’t told that phrase to anyone out loud, so I knew I left you confused that day. After that day, you didn’t manage to show up or give a call. After a week or so, you showed up with tears falling from your eyes, telling me you realized you never really loved me. You were sorry for what you’ve told me and for making me expect. And I was, too, sorry for myself back then, but I was smiling at you and telling you t’was alright and I got it. We just walked that night, you were still sad and I even sang a song for you just to make you feel better. You laughed just by hearing my voice, but inside me, t’was really painful. I never slept that night. I was crying because my chance was over… Months changed, and we, too had changed. Our communication was on and off as we both knew we were busy in our universities. You even fell with one of your new classmate, you said to your letter. So at that time I cried a lot and tried my best to forget about you. I tried not to contact you anymore nor stay in touch just so we can both be happy, yet I cant. You texted me one night and I got my feet to run outside just to have my load and reply to that hi you sent me. I was so stupid and so in love with you, its unfair yet I still remained the same after all. It was August when you began showing me extraordinary things again. Calling me names, well, cute and sweet names like my queen and then calling me everyday as you can. Till one day we decided to meet up. You were so sweet and I could sense that you were nervous with your actions. Something was up. Then there it was, you confessed again, we were in our HS School and that time, I was able to hug you back and tell you cheesy kinda things when you told me you love me and youre sorry what you have done. We were finally together at last. After two months, we became official couple. You gave me promises, you were the perfect boyfriend, indeed. You were mysterious, cute, calm, sweet, smart, thoughtful and a complete gentleman. I was deeply deeply in love with you. I was shy back then, maybe because I was insecure with others. But you loved me perfectly. You knew exactly how to make me happy. I was really a lucky girl. Every time we meet felt like the first time. Just your voice calling out my name was a luxury and when you held my hand, it felt like the world stopped spinning and nothing else matters. Every night I would pray to God that we will be together, forever. You were my ideal guy. I cannot fall for another, I said. Then I texted you one night, Will it be forever? You replied, Yes. I trust you. :) You said you trust me that I wont break your heart. (yeah, I cant really hurt the one I love) But after 3 years of loving you and almost 2 years of being together, we broke up. You changed. We have changed. Long conversations became a short one. Long and happy phone calls into a boring one. And a sweet text messages into a cold one. You never actually text me, there were days that my phone was left with no messages. My phone was unused and still waiting, longing for a text from you. You stopped showing things, and I, myself, stopped trying as you made me feel that it’s awkward to show those kind of things. I didnt complain that time, simly because I was trying to understand but it hurts me. From lovers to being completely strangers (even when we were still in a relationship). Suddenly, I found myself, alone. Fighting for our battle. You became busy but I tried to understand. Days passed, and even weeks, even my birthday, you never called nor texted. I was feeling cold every night, thinking if it’s still alright, or if you’re doing fine. All my thoughts were for you and only to you. Our relationship was sinking and I am aware of it yet I was denying, but at that time, I was willing to drown just to save it because I love you, I love us. You were my first love. I wasted so much tears back then, efforts if I would say, been like a fool and sacrificed too much, so there’s no turning back I said to myself. But at the end… I failed. We broke up. Although we had the sweetest breaking-up scene, ever. We cried, and you told me your side. And I told mine too. We had our closure. We hugged with our final goodbye. Even you mom was sad for both of us and shes mad at you. I also cried that day and the other following days because it was official, I can never have you and that includes not being with your mom and not be able to eat the food she makes just for me. She was like my mom I wished I had. Our break up made us return to being sweet with each other. You started calling again, visit me in our house etc. But it never lasted. We came into a point wherein we could’ve been back together, but it never happened for some reasons. You became self-centered. You only focused on being top 1 or be famous of your drawings. A humble guy to an ambitious monster. It took me two years and a half to get over you… (Just imagine how many notebooks I’ve wasted for those stupid feelings I had for you during my moving on phase. How many tears were shed and memories kept playing inside my head days and nights like a dvd. How many hopes and wishes….what if’s.. It was painful. I almost died every day, stalking you on facebook and looking at you from afar. Praying at night while crying to God that He’d take all the pain away and that you stay happy. I was too stupid to think that I was still loving you….though it only broke my heart more) After almost 3 years of being not friends and having no communication, we were back again. I mean we talked again. You have yourself a new girlfriend, and you two are happily together. I knew you two were perfect for each other eversince she became close to you while we were together back then. Now that we are close (not much) and we can talk about our past, you’d openly tell me how kind I was when we were still together and that I shouldn’t date an asshole like you. And I thought to myself you’re really different now. That time I realized it wasn’t you anymore. I got over you and Im happy. You even made fun of me and told me during our chat that I am boring to talk to and it made me feel stupid (ouch) Lol. Those phrases got me like realizing that youre such an ass. To think that we had memories together back then and that I used to be the one you loved and your princess and now you treat me like a trash. Wow. Things and feelings do change. You think I’m a kind person, well, I call it being nice. But if you wish me to be an asshole, then I might kill you for all the things you caused me. Now, I don’t agree with the song ~first love never dies~ Coz the truth is, no matter how sweet, how many promises were shared, or how much you love your first love, soon enough it’ll end. it should be.. ~first love always die~ But not the memories I guess. Well, I still wish us to be friends. Still, you were a good friend to me even before we became lovers. And oh, dont worry, Ill try to be a bad friend. Ill smash your face and slap it with harsh words! :))) Btw, I’m not from PLM. It was him and her new gf. :) PLMayers Not from PLMar
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 03:00:08 +0000
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