@DovBaron #authentic #speaker #academy for #leadership asaleadership WHY I AM CHOOSING TO EMBRACE PAIN Embracing pain is something I have avoided most of my life. I learned to shut down emotionally at a very young age so I did not have to feel the pain of being rejected, unloved, ridiculed, beaten, uncared for… I did it to protect myself. I needed to survive my crazy environment where my mother was psychotic, my father was a raging lunatic, and my siblings and I were left most of the time to fend for ourselves. Physical and emotional abuse was an ongoing staple in my childhood environment. I left my parents’ house at 16 to attend university. I was determined to use my brain to build myself a solid future. I would have a great career, a husband, a few kids, the white picket fence, money in the bank… I fought hard for all those things. Even when I got them all, I was still unhappy. I did not know why. I thought something was wrong with me for being so… ungrateful. Why could I just not appreciate what I had? I have come to realize I was ungrateful because I was living out of my heart, out of touch with my feelings and emotions. I was looking for external validation to soothe my pain. It does not work. I am now learning to embrace my pain, feeling my sadness, anger, sorrow… over what has been lost in my life. I have lost relationships with my life partners, family members, friends... Most important, I have lost my relationship with me to a large extent. I have been missing me. As I see the sweetness in my pain, I am learning to be grateful. I am finding my way back to me and others. I was often too busy to pay close attention to my kids when they were little. Now, when I interact with them, I pay more attention to their feelings and what they are sharing with me. I make a point of paying attention to the look in their eyes, their body language, the tone of their voice. I can only do that to the extent I am also being present with me. Its a process. Gratefulness stems from that increased awareness of holding both pain and sweetness for me now. One moment at a time. James Hargis-Speaker Annabel Fisher-Speaker Gina Best-Speaker Kaman Kwok-Speaker Rhiannon Foster Speaker
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 19:24:20 +0000
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